


You make me feel.

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Category: Strong Woman Do Bong Soon - Fandom, 힘쎈여자 도봉순 | Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (TV)
Genre: Ahn Min Hyuk is a bi disaster, F/M, In Gookdu tries to be supportive, It's one step forward three steps back with those three, M/M, Multi, This became longer than I originally thought, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: Ahn Min Hyuk is very confused about his feelings. In Gook Du really tries to help. Together, they try to figure things out. With the help of their super strong and super cute Do Bong Soon.
Relationships: Ahn Min Hyuk & In Gook Du, Ahn Min Hyuk/Do Bong Soon, Ahn Min Hyuk/Do Bong Soon/In Gook Du, Ahn Min Hyuk/In Gook Du, Do Bong Soon & In Gook Du, Do Bong Soon/In Gook Du, In Gook Du & Do Bong Ki
Comments: 17
Kudos: 66





	1. Unanswered Questions.

Rubbing his eyes as he dragged himself to the door of his flat, Gookdu softly swore at whomever believed it was reasonable to show up at his door so late in the night. The male had finally been resting well for the first time in days since they took a particularly grim case at the precinct. The lieutenant had literally been forcibly sent home, so it definitely wasn't a colleague. Especially not under such a downpour. They, would have called. So whom? A hand falling on the handle of his door, In Gook Du gently opened in, peering outside to find a soaked Ahn Min Hyuk. "Minhyuk-shi?" He asked, brows creasing as he fully opened the door to let the other man in.

"I'm in love with Bong Soon." The other male chose to open the conversation with, stepping inside the officer's flat.

Gookdu chuckled softly. "I know that." He spoke, gently slipping the soaked coat off of his guest's shoulder. "You must be so cold, what's going? Is Bong Soon in trouble? Aish, this man why didn't you just contact the pol—" Firm, curious lips pressed against his own, making the lieutenant's eyes widen in pure shock. There was something foreign about kissing a male. Familiar too. He allowed to be led, eyes falling shut as cold hands gripped his hips, keeping him right where he was. As expected, Minhyuk kissed like he lived and loved, hard, fast, messy but explorative, curious and definitely searching for others' happiness while he chased his own pleasure. Not that Gookdu ever gave much thought to it, mind you.

Remembering Minhyuk's very first remark as his own hands cupped the other male's face, Gookdu pulled away, panting slightly. "What was that for?" He inquired, brows furrowing as a tongue peered out to wet his bottom lip. "Why would you..." He shook his head. "You said you loved Bong Soon!"

"No." Minhyuk calmly replied, a faint smirk appearing on his lips when Gookdu adopted his trademark pose, judgementally resting his hands on his hips. This time around though, he was wearing a pair of pyjama pants and his black turtleneck was gone, his bare chest just how erratic his breathing still was. Focusing back on Gookdu's eyes, Ahn Min Huyk sighed. There was thunder there, a rightful anger he knew, would be directed at him if he didn't quickly explain himself. "I said I was in love with Bongsoon. Which I very much am."

"Then why are you here? Why are you doing this to me?" In Gook Du asked, protectively crossing his arms over his chest and taking a couple of steps back.

"To you?" Minhyuk chuckled. "I think it's more of a with you case here. You kissed back. I felt it. I," His eyes twitched. "I felt something."

"It doesn't matter what you felt." The police officer sighed. "Let's just forget this happened. You're with Bong Soon, you're making her happy in ways I never could, with cute dates and kind words." He smiled gently. "I want to believe this is the first time you did something like that and the last time you ever will. So I'll keep it a secret. But I'll keep a close eye on you, CEO Ahn. If you hurt Bong Soon, I will—"

"You will what?" The game developer petulantly interrupted. "What will you do?"

Gookdu opened his mouth to reply, then sighed, noticing that the other male was very literally dripping on his floors. "Don't move. I'll bring you a towel, yeah? Do you need dry clothes too? Seriously, why would you even come here under the rain without an umbrella? How far did you park to get hit that bad? Because you drove right? Please tell me you drove here..."

Minhyuk sighed. "Don't bother." He replied. "I came to tell you something. Or tell myself something. I'm not sure. I'm just... I'm so confused and so curious at the same time. Do you know what it feels like when you feel like you've found yourself, unlocked something special within you? Yet you've never been that lost of scared?"

Gookdu furrowed his brows. The officer stopped himself before he'd ask the other if he didn't have a friend to tell all that nonsense too. Instead he nodded gently, not sure what to say but certain Minhyuk wanted to be heard.

"It's like that when I'm with you. I think. I think you make it all make sense and you mess it all up at the same time. I like you, really. And were it not for our rivalry over Bongsoon's love, maybe we'd be best friends. But also I want more? And less at the same time. Less of the ache here." He pressed a hand to the center of his chest. "You make it all complicated. So complicated. Since that night, I just, I wanted to kiss those lips to know, just to know how it felt. Then you show up, you show up and you have the audacity to tell me that Bongsoon's great, and what she likes and that she deserves to be loved right. And fuck, I hated you. I hated how you made me feel because your love, it was so selfless, so selfless and pure? And I, I wanted that too. Maybe I still want it? But mostly, fuck, what does it mean?" He asked, eyes wide and vulnerable. His fingers tangled in wet hair, his gaze gaining intensity as his eyes met with Gookdu, begging him to answer all the questions. Even those he didn't dare asking aloud.

The officer visibly swallowed. "I'll bring you a towel." He repeated before retreating, leaving the CEO in his living room. He heard the very moment Ahn Minhyuk fell into the couch.

_What was he even supposed to do with that knowledge? Was it truly for him to decide? For him to shape? He knew his reactions could be determining for Min Hyuk's perception of himself. Acceptance, kindness. He needed that right now. But could it truly be given so selflessly? Would it be poorly interpreted by their traitorous hearts?_

Gook Du took ahold of a random towel in his cabinet and exiting the bathroom, returning to the living room of his shoelace flat. He sat right next to the game developer, handing him the towel without looking. "Do you feel like that only when it's me?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" Minhyuk replied, taking the offered towel and bringing it to his head to start drying his hair.

"I mean, have you ever felt attracted to a man before. Or am I," The officer swallowed. "am I the first?"

"I," Minhyuk bit his bottom lip.

"It doesn't have to be as strong or messy. It can just be you thinking 'oh, this hyung is hot' and thoroughly checking them out or making out with a guy for spin the bottle and enjoying it." Gookdu clarified.

"But none of this makes me gay, right?" Minhyuk asked.

Gookdu chuckled. "None of it makes you anything you don't feel comfortable being. Nobody expects you to put a label on yourself."

"Oh." The CEO softly let out, as if the words were mind blowing to him. "Well, no. Still. You're the, ahem, first, I guess."

"Okay." Gookdu said softly. "What a bizarre way to go at it though." He chuckled. "Did shoving your tongue down my throat bring you any clarity or knowledge?"

Ahn Min Hyuk chuckled. "Not at all. I'm more confused than ever. But, I have learnt one thing: You're a phenomenal kisser."

Gookdu snorted, amused. "Thank you." He replied. "You know, I can't tell you who you are or how to be yourself. So if you came for a manual, I can assure you I don't have one. If anything, I'm lookin for one too. Because I don't really who I am either, nor where I stand."

"Have you kissed a man before?" Minhyuk asked.

"I have. Amongst other things." Gookdu shrugged. "Why? Is it reassuring to know I have some _(very little but beside the point here)_ experience?"

"Not really." The CEO bitterly replied. "Now I'm jealous of people I've never met."

Gookdu snorted again. "You're bizarre." He reiterated. "I find that I mind much less than I thought, though." He added and gently bumped his shoulder with the other male. "It's okay to be confused. I'm not mad you want to experience. In fact, I'm even a little bit flattered it's with me. But I think you should talk to Bongsoon about it. About wanting to figure yourself out. She'll give you the time you need and support you the best she can. She did it for me."

"What about you?" Ahn Min Hyuk asked.

"Well," In Gook Doo shrugged. "You know where I live. I'll try my best to help you. As long as you're honest with me. And don't try to kiss me by surprise again. I allowed it this time, but I'll headbutt you in the future. Mercilessly. Because I have too much respect for both you and Bongsoon to mess with something that makes the both of you happy."

"What if being with you, it makes me happy too? In another way. In a way that makes me feel both safe and extremely exposed." The game developer explained. "What if being with you, even like that, just sitting close, it makes it a little easier to breathe and warms me?"

The lieutenant sighed. "Then I think we're in trouble."

"Why?"

"Because I," Gookdu sighed. "I got transferred to make sure things would be clearer, easier. Whatever curiosity you felt about me, I suppose, I felt about you too. It didn't feel as much like an epiphany. I knew I could like men. But, I mean, I love Bongsoon. In fact, I've only ever loved her all my life. I'm not trying to compete or establish anything here. Just being honest. I, I don't know how not to love her yet? So whatever crush I felt, normally I'd pursue, relentlessly try to get her out of my system. But you? It would've been too cruel. She's wide eyed, hopeful, happy with you. Why would I," He shook his head. "Why would we?" The officer casted a glance to the other male. "For fleeting feelings? For a pleasant maybe? No. It'd be stupid. So I made sure to be rude enough for neither of you to question me when I chose to take my distance. But if it's more than just a crush, then everything becomes complicated and messy. I could tell you to repress it all and pretend for Bongsoon's sake but that'd just ruin something good for you, and for her. But mostly for you. You've walked the very first steps on a path to self-discovery, I don't want to be the guy who makes the journey horrible. But I don't want to be the guy who messes up something great either."

"I," The game developer chewed on his bottom lip. "I didn't think like that. I thought it was all compartmentalized. There was Bong Soon and I. And then, there could be you and I. But I forgot to take into account Bong Soon and you."

Gukdoo chuckled. "Probably because there barely is a Bong Soon and I currently."

"You're wrong. About that, you're wrong." Ahn Min Hyuk sighed deeply. "She stops by the Dobong district's police station twice a week to ask about you. I usually stay in the car, but it's easy to see the way she literally braces herself, dreading to hear about you but also needing to do that to be able to go on with her own life, needing to make sure you're okay. She's always smiling when she walks out. It's a little sad, that kind of smile, like she's lost something really great but knows deep down that it's fine."

In Gook Doo furrowed his brows, taken aback. "I had no idea. She doesn't even text or call anymore. I thought she just was too busy with her game or something. I thought she was, I thought she was too busy being happy with you." He admitted, lowering his head as shame tinted his cheeks. "So I never called myself. Because I didn't want to hear about it."

Min Huyk sighed deeply, unsure of how to reply to that. Was he even expected to? "She is, happy. It just feels like something is missing from her life. When she lost you, she lost far more than a potential lover. She lost a friend, she lost a brother, she lost someone who occupied so much space in her head and heart. She didn't ask for more of you during all those years because what you gave, while flawed and restrained, was enough." The chaebol son chuckled softly. "She loves you."

"How unfair of you." Gukdoo replied.

"Is it? Truly? Two people hold you dear. Is that such a bad thing?" Minhyuk asked.

"What am I supposed to reply to that? What do you expect from me?" The police officer asked, eyes twitching as they gained a revealing glint.

"I don't know." Minhyuk replied softly. "I don't know anything anymore." He shrugged. "Except that I have feelings for two people who probably have feelings for one another."

Gookdu lowered his gaze. "It sounds so simple like that...."

"It is. When you know what you want, or how you truly feel, it is." Ahn Min Hyuk replied.

"I thought you didn't know either..." The lieutenant weakly argued, voice low and resigned.

"I'm starting to." Minhyuk replied, smiling a little. "I have to go." He stood, as if he was spring mounted. "But I'll call you, yeah? Keep your phone around, officer." He cheekily replied. Taking the risk to be head butted, the CEO leant forward, invading the other's space to press a promising peck to his lips. "Don't do anything stupidly reckless." He added, towel still wrapped around his hair and coat abandoned as he rushed out of the flat.

Gookdoo sighed, his eyes falling shut as his lips gradually curled up. Gingerly, he brought a thumb to his lips. Gently, he ran the digit along them. _Odds were, Ahn Minhyuk would be the death of him_.


	2. Unutterable Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk decides to tell Bongsoon about his feelings. She listens. It still surprises him when she does.

"Couldn't sleep last night, huh?" Bong Soon whispered, wrapping an arm around Min Hyuk's middle while they laid in bed. Her eyes were closed still as he lazily drew pattern on her shoulder with his thumb. "You want to talk about it?" The female asked, able to picture the smile that gently curled his lips. To this day, he still couldn't quite believe that someone wanted to just listen to his woes. It broke her heart a little, to think about the lonely life he led before her. Being good, was easy with him. But it felt just a little bit burdensome every now and then because she was the only presence in his life that was allowed to be so close. She couldn't harm him, **_would never_** , harm him. The thought of hurting him, was suffocating. But so was the fact that she had to live up to the greatness he saw in her.

_She failed to see that greatness most of the time. She couldn't tell him that._

"Last night..." Min Hyuk drew in a long breath, before releasing it, his own eyes falling shut as he braced himself. "I went to see him, In Gook Du." He felt the female freeze, then brace herself before finally opening her eyes. 

"Why?" Bongsoon asked, low and vulnerable. Gookdu still was a sore subject.

Min Hyuk chuckled bitterly, the ugly feeling at the pit of his stomach returning. He could easily picture it still, the asleep Gookdu on his couch, wearing his blanket. Then an awake Gookdu being fed chocolate while he was left sipping some spicy soup from the sidelines. That awe in Bongsoon's eyes, the gentle familiarity between the two. "Aish..." He sighed. Even with the girl in his arms, he still felt jealous.

Except, there was a new edge now, wasn't there? He could see what Bongsoon saw. And he was pretty sure he had one on her with that kiss. Why was he feeling any satisfaction over that? Was he that petty? Did he not love Bong Soon with all his heart? He was so certain to be deeply in love with her. Then why couldn't he be wholly committed to her? Why did the remembrance of a simple kiss bring so much satisfaction and so little guilt? He had cheated hadn't he? That was awful. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to regret, enjoying instead the fleeting memory of a harsh but earnest kiss.

Reopening his eyes, the male blinked a few times. He cleared his throat, refocusing on a seemingly confused but patient Bongsoon. "Your visits at the police station, I told him about it." He chose to open with, testing the waters. Testing her forgiveness. Only Gookdu could make him feel unsure about Bongsoon.

She sighed softly. "You meant well, didn't you?" She simply asked. He nodded, surprising himself. "Then I'm not mad. You tried to do something good for me. But it's not your job to salvage our relation."

"I didn't do it for you." The CEO admitted, words spilling out with a destabilizing honesty. "It's a very selfish thing I did. Because I wanted to know."

"To know what?"

"How I felt about it all. About him." He replied.

Bongsoon paused, chewing on her lips for a few seconds before asking: "And how do you feel about him?"

"I don't know." The young man sighed heavily. "It's so confusing that I wish I didn't feel at all, to be honest. Things were simpler when I was just jealous. But now I," He swallowed. "I see him, I think."

Bong Soon furrowed her brows, putting some distance between the two to get a good look at her lover's face. "What does that mean?" She carefully asked, her tone gaining neutrality. It hadn't quite lost the fondness, but didn't sound as caring as before. More cutting. Less patient.

The game developer sat on his bed, fumbling around a little before he settled, dramatically blowing entirely not bothersome hair out of his face. "I like him." Ahn Min Hyuk finally declared, earning himself a soft giggle from his girlfriend. Bong Soon sat up as well, taking the male's chin in her hand to lead his lips to hers. They met in a gentle kiss, something fond and familiar. Coming home. It felt like coming home. And knowing there was a home to come to.

"Of course you like him. He's great." She finally replied. "And you're great too. It was bound to happen." She chuckled, gaze getting lost as she recalled a particular conversation. "Kyung Shim-ah once joked that if it weren't for me, you two would probably be best friends, maybe even lovers."

Min Hyuk's brows slightly furrowed, realizing that she might've entirely missed the point he'd been hinting at. Sometimes dancing around truths prevented those you wanted to tell them to from actually hearing them. "You think I like him like a possible friend?" He asked, to be sure. He was sure. He just wanted to dance around the truth for a little more.

Judging from her tone only, Bong Soon had misread the situation. "Maybe not friends quite yet," She amenably offered, lowering her head. "but maybe acquaintances!" She spoke, looking into Min Hyuk's eyes so hopefully.

_So it was a selfish want? Would she feel more justified to see her first love if the new one was friend with him too? Had she been awaiting for his approval before actually contacting her friend again? No. It couldn't be. Bong Soon had always been independent. She'd know Min Hyuk wouldn't feel threatened by her friendship with Gook Du.... Unless... Unless there was a reason to feel threatened? Was there?_

"Do you love him, still?" He asked, before he could stop himself. Because he'd suffocate if he didn't.

"I always will." She, mercifully, replied with a lot of honesty but very little tact. "For as long as I can remember, he was always part of my life."

"But he no longer is." Min Hyuk harshly replied. "I am. Do you not love me?"

Bong Soon drew in a deep breath. "I'm in love with you. Honestly. With all my heart." She offered him a smile, tight lipped but earnest as tears welled in her eyes. " _Is it not enough?_ "

_He wanted to yell no._

_He did not do such thing._

_He had no leg to stand on._

"I kissed him. The great In Gook Du." He too, could be tactless.

Bong Soon's chin dangerously trembled. He looked away. "Why? Did you want to hurt me?"

"But I am here, aren't I? I chose you. Is it not enough?" He asked, because he knew it would hurt her. Because childishly, he wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him. He wanted to be enough for her. And for her to be enough for him. Why, why couldn't they be enough for each other?

"How childish." She replied, voice altered by emotions. He dared a glance her way. The redness in her eyes a telltale. She'd been holding the tears in. He grabbed her wrist when she tried to pull away. "Why do you want to hurt me?" She asked, looking straight into his eyes.

"That kiss..." The male's lips parted as he exhaled with difficulty. "It wasn't about you." She blinked at him, a few times. Silently as the words sunk in. Her eyes desperately widened, tears now rolling down. "I'm in love with you." Minhyuk felt the need to reiterate. "With every piece of me. I am, sincerely, in love with you."

" _It doesn't sound like enough_." Bongsoon replied, discreet tears turning into actual crying.

"Right?" Minhyuk chose to ask back, referring to her own, earlier declaration.

"You're cruel." The female replied, getting out of his grip with ease.

"So are you." He replied, tears welling in his own eyes. She remained unmoving, observing as she reigned herself in. A few sniffles were heard, but she didn't budge, didn't blink. Just watched him, curious and expectant, awaiting for a tear of his to spill and promptly wiping it away. The male's eyes instinctively fell shut at the contact. This was an opening, her way to say that she was willing to listen, that she loved him still.

"Is he doing well? Gookdu-yah." She chose to ask, threading carefully through what she knew were conflicting emotions.

"He looks healthy and his muscles are ridiculously defined."

Bongsoon chuckled at the reply, a rough, wet sound that came out with struggle but honesty. "And does he kiss well?" She asked, fingers moving to run through the male's hair.

Ainsoft's CEO blushed. "Wh-who are you to ask such questions, my confidant?" He asked, voice wavering.

"Duh." The game designer replied, genuinely surprising her boyfriend.

"You love me that much?" He asked, dramatically bringing a hand to his chest as his lips parted in disbelief.

Bong Soon smiled, both amused and very fond. Because she knew, where his insecurities came from. Thus never mocked his antics and little quirks. "I do." She replied. Then pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head. "With all my heart."

Minhyuk sighed softly, wrapping his arms around the woman. "It does sound like enough this time." He replied, eyes shut as he basked into the moment.

_But it wasn't._

_Not completely._

_Not for either of them_.

**_It was, almost, enough._ **

**_Almost, is never, good enough_.**

"Good." Bongsoon whispered softly. After swallowing thickly, the female went on : "Do you want to talk about it? How you feel? About..." She bit her bottom lip. "About him. About... men." She almost sounded like it didn't hurt. Like she could selflessly do that for him. Sit here, and listen.

He knew she couldn't quite do that yet. She needed time to digest his news. "I don't feel all that different about men." He chose to reply. "I never had difficulty acknowledging the pretty ones and never felt particularly threatened by others, irregardless of their gender, ethnicity or religion. Except when they actively tried to harm me, of course."

She could end the conversation there. He was giving her an out. "So it's only Gookdu that makes you feel differently?" She asked, because she did, love him that much. And watching him silently struggle would probably break the both of their hearts. "That makes you feel... more?" She elaborated, uncertain in the proper vocabulary but encouraging in the tone.

Minhyuk chuckled. "Yes. More." He agreed. "When I think about him, everything gets complicated. But also, it all makes sense. There's an ache, here." He pressed a hand to the center of his chest, unable to actually say it. "And it only disappears when I'm with him. He annoys me to no end. But he makes me feel warm. Like it's, it's," Minhyuk let out a short breath. "Like it's easier to breathe when I'm with him." He closed his eyes, not wanting to face the consequences of his words. Deciding to soften the blow, he ended with the following sentence: "He said he loved you though."

"Still?" Bongsoon asked, words slipping out before she could stop herself.

"Always." The CEO clarified. "He's only ever been in love with you, all his life. He doesn't know how to love anybody else like that yet."

"Would you be mad if I needed time to process it all?" Bong Soon asked, after a short, but agonizing silence.

"No."

"Would you be mad if I called him?"

"No."

"Would you be mad if I met with him?"

"No."

"Would you be mad if I went now?"

"Yes."

Bong Soon nodded a couple of times, digesting the replies before heaving a long, reflective sigh. "Thank you, for the honesty." The female declared, her tone unexpectedly gentle. Wide eyed, Anh Min Hyuk watched as she tilted his head up, leaning her head to allow their lips to meet. Something short and gentle. Not quite a peck, but certainly not a passionate kiss. "I love you. Sincerely. And if you have to walk down an unfamiliar path to unlock a new part of yourself, then I'll be right by you, supporting in any way I can for as long as you'll have me. Right now, I don't know if you're bi, pan, or Gookdu romanticosexual but, I know that you love me. I won't doubt of it. Because I love and respect you." A short peck, her lips curling up as he stole another. And another. And another, until she pulled away, laughing softly. "For real, I want to be there for you. Because I don't want you to suffer by negating a part of who you are. I'm not going to lie, it's going to take some time to digest this. But it isn't about me, and I will make sure to remember that it's your journey." Minhyuk wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, eliciting laughter out of her as he dragged her back onto the bed, atop of him.


	3. Unadvised Actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bong Soon talks with Gookdu. They both realize some things. Ahn Min Hyuk is either very reckless about it all, or a unsuspected genius.

_"Is he bisexual, you think?"_

Gookdu blinked, looking up from his desk to find a smiling Bongsoon, gently waving her fingers at him. He blinked a few times, trying to digest the fact that she'd come all the way to his new district and willingly into a police station. Then, the question sunk in. Furiously blushing, the male jolted up. He glanced around at his teammates, narrowing his eyes when he saw a knowing smirk on the nearest one. Perks of being an inspector, the subordinates respected their sunbae...ish. "I'll be back in a bit." He announced, to the room at large, before gently grabbing Bong Soon's wrist and leading her out. Obviously, now, he knew she was allowing him to lead her.

Bong Soon blinked, doe eyed as she glanced down the hand wrapped around her wrist. She didn't feel as much as she used to, she noticed. Nothing made her heart thump ridiculously. And she wasn't the one blushing for once. She'd come just to talk about Minhyuk and a part of her, was very glad it still very much felt all about Ahn Min Hyuk. Even with Gookdu so close and a knowledge of his feelings. She wasn't being swayed. Her love, was true.

The inspector glanced back, letting go of her as soon as he saw where her gaze was. "Sorry." He replied, monochord, a little distant. Shoving his hands in his pocket, he kept walking. "There's a park not too far, we can sit on a bench there and talk." He waited, for her to fall into steps with him, holding in a chuckle at how ungracefully she'd jogged in her precious heels. "There's a bit of wind, and you like cherry blossoms right? They remind you of the s..."

"snow, yeah." She finished, shooting him a curious glance. Right then, she remembered why her crush had been so hard to get over. Because he was full of little attentions, meaningless to most but genuinely touching to her. It was about the feeling of being worthy to be remembered. With great detail, at that. Looking away, her brows creased. No spike in her heartbeat still, just a comfortable familiarity. It felt like... It felt like coming home, she thought guiltily. It felt like he made it easier for her to breathe. Her eyes widened.

"Is everything alright?" Gookdu asked, as they neared the park. "You didn't hurt yourself running in those, right? Aish, you're always so eager to do things, Soon-ah..." He sighed.

"Anyo." She replied softly, shaking her head. She offered his a careful smile. "I just remembered there was something very important I needed to do today."

"Oh." The male nodded understandingly. "Then you should go. I feel bad enough that you had to come all the way to Gangnam, I don't want to entirely ruin your schedule."

The female huffed in frustration, his tone said one thing and his words an entirely different other. How could he sound so detached, almost bored and yet express genuine worry and care. "Ah jinjia..." She grabbed his wrist, leading him inside the park to the nearest bench. "This is important too." She determinedly spoke, as if he needed further convincing.

_Yet, when they sat, they sat in silence._

After a couple of stolen glances and discreet huffs,Bong Soon started to gently sway her legs, making her childhood friend chuckle. "I missed this." Gookdu spoke, fond but low and careful, as if not certain he wanted to be heard. "Now tell me, what's worrying you?" He asked, louder, now fully focusing his gaze on the female.

"Minhyuk-ah...." She sighed. "I don't know how to help him. But selfishly, I don't want you to be the one helping him either."

Gookdu's lips curled up, as if he'd made sense of the words she uttered but barely understood when strung together. "I understand." Because somehow, he did. In his own way, a way that used to matter so much to Bong Soon. A way that wasn't full but was always enough.

"I'm not sure I do." She earnestly replied. "To be honest, I can't even tell what scares me the most." The female lowered her head, unable to maintain her gaze in contact with his. "That he starts to truly see who you are and ends up loving you more than me. Or..."

" _Or?_ "

"Or that you, start caring for him enough to no longer love only me." Her brows creased, the admission surprising her too. "I know, I know it's selfish. And a little shitty of me, for both of you... But..." Tears welled in the female's eyes. "I don't know what to do." She went on, ashamed. "Can you still see me at that weak, vulnerable little girl and try to be my savior? Just this once?" She begged, her gaze meeting with the inspector again. "Make it all make sense. Make it simple. Make it enough."

Gookdu's eyes widened in distress, lips parting then closing a few times, left entirely gobsmacked by her declaration. "Jaebal." Bong Soon begged again. "Just this once, save me. Save us."

"H-How?" Gookdu finally asked, uttering the single word with difficulty. He clenched his fists, letting them rest on his calves instead of reaching out to the female, fighting his first impulse to wipe away her tears. He'd learnt now, that sometimes people just needed to cry. So he let her cry. Because whatever was happening, wasn't really about her need to be saved. She didn't, need to be saved. It'd just be a lot easier for everyone, if he could save her, save them.

_But he couldn't._

Bong Soon knew, that In Gook Du couldn't fix everything for her. She also knew, that if she asked, he'd just remain out of their lives. But she'd never wanted him out of her life to start with. It made nothing simpler nor clearer. She was sure, of course, that her feelings fo Ahn Min Hyuk were true. And just as certain that his feelings for her were true.So really, she had no reason to cry. Except that she was.

"It's not about him, is it?" Gookdu tentatively asked.

Bongsoon chuckled, sniffling at how perceptive he was a shaking her head. "I don't really know what it's about to be honest."

"Well, sometimes it just has to come out." The male replied before gently patting her shoulder, unsure about allowing further proximity.

Bong Soon clarified things for him. Without a word, she let her head fall against his shoulder. "Thank you." She sniffed. "For not expecting me to be strong."

Gook Du chuckled. "Yet that is exactly why we never dated." He pointed out, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You know he's in love with you right? He probably loves you more than anything he ever did. And yes, he calls you peanut sized king kong and would probably hide behind you in a fight because he's got a boner for your power displays. But he'd also jump in front of a knife for you. Anh Min Hyuk knows you are precious. Not fragile, not frail, but worth protecting all the same. That means you can, and should break in front of him too. He'll help you put yourself together if you give him a chance, I'm sure."

Bong Soon's brows creased as she realized just how much she'd needed to hear those words. "How did you know?" She inquired, sitting up to take a good look at him. "How do seem to know what to say to me when it's about everything but us?"

The inspector smiled, something fond and exhausted all the same. He reached out to gently pat her head. "Because I know you and I don't want you to suffer. But I was so overwhelmed with my own feeling that I failed to see the hurt I, was causing you." His hands shifted, wiping away the remnants of tears as the female sniffled softly, her eyes focused on him. "You're happy with him, right?" Bong Soon nodded, instinctively. Because it was the truth. "I knew you would be. That's why I never asked about you, about him. I didn't think you needed me anymore."

"You were my best friend." She replied, brows creasing. "Of course, I'd always need you. Just like Kyung Shim or Bong Ki, you're family, you're home. And it felt awful to loose that, to loose us. I didn't cling on all those years because of a crush. I loved you before I was in love with you. And when Min Hyuk appeared I remembered that I could love you without being in love with you again."

"I realized the exact contrary." He replied. "I always thought I could love you without being in love with you, then he appeared and I was forced to admit that I had always, been in love with you. So I don't quite know how to love anyone else yet. But I'll get there. For myself."

"Is it that bad to be in love with me?" The female inquired, unable to stop herself.

"It isn't. It's just not fair on you. You've found your way, you've found someone whose always known what you meant for them and who wasn't afraid to fight for it, for you. I know your feelings are true, but I also how much almosts hurt and what ifs haunts. I'm constantly tormented by those too. I don't want to ruin something good for you selfishly. Because there might be a day, where I get drunk, and I reopen the glove compartment in my car and get that stupid box I had packed for you before yelling at a taxi to take me to you. And then, what? You'd be hurt even though you owe me nothing. Because you're that kind of person. And I'd be left hangover and humiliated."

"I owe you so much..." The female shook her head. "I, I fell for you because you saw me. Really saw me. And cared enough to remember about my peach allergy or to take me to baseball games. Because you'd take me out to eat spicy food after I had a fallout with my mom even though you absolutely can't handle it. Because even though I couldn't be entirely me with you, it felt more like me than I would with anyone else." She smiled. "You weren't perfect. Far from it. But we're all humans."

Gook Doo stood, bringing his hands to his waist in that trademark pose of his. " _Aish, do jinjia_..." His eyes fell on the woman. He sighed. "You're too lovable. It's not good. I should get back to work."

Bong Soon laughed a little, making the male blink. He'd missed that sound. Dearly. She stretched out an arm, hooking it around one of his. "I promise I'll stop. Just sit again. I came to talk about Min Hyuk-ah. I have some things to say too."

Sensing the seriousness in the woman's tone, In Gook Du sat again. He looked ahead of himself in an attempt to make the game developer's confession easier if she didn't have to hold his gaze. Bong Soon struggled a little to fully express herself when they looked into each other's eyes, instinctively searching for the right thing to say to him instead of simply saying what she bluntly meant. 

"I..." The game developer huffed softly. "I had prepared something to say. Really. But now, all that's left is that Minhyuk told me about the kiss. About how it wasn't about me but about him trying to make sense of his feelings for you." She paused, smiling faintly in remembrance of that specific conversation. "I'm not as jealous as I expected to be. I mostly just want him to be comfortable with who he is. And if that entails him spending time with you, so be it. I know better than anyone why he might seek your company."

In Gook Du bowed his head, furiously blushing at the words. "The both," he swallowed. "both of you seem to know what you want, to have decided that i would help. But I, I don't know what I want. Nor how I feel. And I don't think it's fair of either of you to expect me to be there, at your disposal and ready to be dismissed once Minhyuk's emotions are clear enough that he can properly make sense of them. I have feelings too. And when you two will go back to one another and resume your couple life, I'll be left alone to lick my wounds." He sighed deeply. "That love and support you both expect me to provide, that guidance I lack but is attended to dispense, that acceptance and hope you both seem to think I will show, I don't even have them for myself. You, have it all for one another so why would it be up to me to, to..." His eyes fell shut as he exhaled longly. "I don't know. I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't want to be part of this. I don't think, I..." He shook his head and reopened his eyes. "I'm sorry." The male stood. "I wish you the best of luck. And I don't know what he is either. But don't try to put labels on stuffs too early. Just let him figure himself out. And be there. That's literally all he needs. You, are all he needs." He pressed his lips together, the corners curling up for a second before he spun on his feet, walking away.

Bong Soon opened her mouth, desperately trying to find the right thing to say. Then closed it again, finding no word. She stood up, watching the male walk away without a single glance back. Biting her upper lip, Bong Soon retrieved her phone and called her lover. "I think I made a mistake."

Silent followed the words, something heavy but patient. Something careful. She could tell, Minhyuk was trying to find the right thing to say. "Is it about you and him or about him and I?" He asked carefully, offering both options to be discussed. As if either truly existed. "Or is it about us?" He added after a beat, once the struggle to come to that option faded just enough to let him speak again.

"No." Bong Soon swallowed. "It's about you." Her brows creased. "I think I messed up something good for you." She sighed. "Gookdu-yah, he," Her lips parted again, a soft, barely audible exhale coming out as she took that second to gather her thoughts. "I think he cares for you." She bit her upper lip again. "And me." Was added, after too long listening to silence.

"And you?" Ahn Min Hyuk echoed, uncertain about what he was asking. He probably was hoping for an answer to several questions that could be formulated with those two words. And you, do you care about him? And you, do you care about me? And you, how does he care about you? And you, how do you, care about him? And you, what do you think about us?

_She couldn't pick which one to answer._

_So she didn't answer any._

"What about me? This isn't, about me."

"How could it not be?" The male asked back, frustrated with that non-reply, frightened by all the possible other answers it implied.

"You made it so!" Bong Soon frustratedly replied. "You said it! When you kissed him, it wasn't about me. Whatever you feel for him, it isn't about me! Whatever, whatever happens between the two of you I just have to accept because it's all about you."

"You sound a little bitter there." The male sarcastically replied.

"How could I not be? When I'm putting the two men I ever loved in the balance? When you expect me to watch you grow to love another?"

"Gookdu would never do that to you." He replied.

"But you're doing it!" She argued. "You care for him, really. And enough to want to feel more. You said, you said he felt like coming home. But we were literally at home. I'm supposed to be, your home." She sniffed. "Who am I if I'm not? The stop along the way to your destination? A nice trip abroad? Why can't I be the home you yearn to return to?"

Ahn Min Hyuk sighed heavily, breathing in a long, death breath before releasing it. "Where are you?"

"I don't know." The female replied, between two soft whines, trying to disguise her crying.

"Would you mind turning on the location on your watch? I'll find you there."

"I don't want you to find me." She replied. "I want you to tell me what's going to happen to us. I thought," She broke into loud crying for a couple of seconds. "I can't do this. I thought I could. Because I love you. But I can't just watch you fall in love with someone else. Not with someone I love too."

"Then don't." He replied, sounding more honest than harsh. "Do it _with_ me."

"I...." The female shook her head. "I need some time. I can't make sense of anything right now. Mianhe." She spoke before hanging up, leaving a frustrated Minhyuk to deal with empty beeps.

Chewing on her bottom lip as tears pearled in her eyes, the female decided to finally exit the park. She walked back on her own, past the police station and to the nearest bus stop. And got into the first that arrived, regardless of where it was going. Just so she could sit, and press her head to the window as the scenery passed in front of her eyes. It helped her think.

By the time Ahn Min Hyuk made it to the police station, there was no Bong Soon to find, and Gook Du was in the middle of an interrogation. He decided to wait, sitting across from the detective's desk and watching the empty chair in front of him.

"I left Bong Soon at the park nearby a while ago." A voice spoke, drawing him out his thoughts. The male turned his head to find a frustrated looking police inspector with his hands on his hips. "Listen, I don't..." He glanced around the room, rolling his shoulders as he tried to ignore the gazes on them. "Ahn Min Hyuk-shi, I'm afraid I cannot help you further than I already did. Please, refrain from involving me in your private matters from now on. You have a great girlfriend, she will bring you all the support you need. You don't need, nor truly want me." He cleared his throat. "I mean, mine, my support."

The game developer stood up. "I thought you'd do you best to help me. As long as I was honest with you and as long as I, as I didn't try to kiss you again. Those were you conditions."

Gookdu's eyes widened. " _Do... Jinjia..._ " He glanced around again, cheeks heating up. And glared at those his eyes met with. Huffing, he grabbed the chaebol heir's wrist and dragged him away, disappearing inside a corridor and into a interrogation room. " _You_..." He growled lowly as the closed the door behind him without looking away from the other man.

"What?" Minhyuk asked petulantly. "Are you ashamed of who you are? Is this what this is about? You running away from us?"

Gook Du laughed. "See, you said it. There's you guys and there's me. That us, you speak about does not involve nor need, me." He wet his bottom lip. "I'm sorry, I really am. But today I realized just how strong and complicated my own feelings were. And I don't want to break my own heart to put yours at ease."

"Then don't." Min Hyuk argued. " _Just be part of us."_

"You can't just say things like that, it's not fair. And it's not simple. We're not simple." The senior inspector frowned. "You don't even know what you feel. And you want so much. So fast. Things don't work like that for normal people."

"Then don't be a normal person." Ahn Min Hyuk replied, approaching the seemingly distraught officer. "Now I'm warning you that I'm going to kiss you so you don't consider that I did it by surprise." He brought a hand to the male's cheek, his thumb remaining on said cheek as the rest of his fingers grazed Gookdu's neck. "Can I?"

The inspector's lips parted. He exhaled softly before turning away. "Don't." He took a step back. "Please don't. It's not something you can solve with a bunch of kisses. That would just confuse the both of us."

Min Hyuk nodded silently a few times. "Okay." He quietly replied. "Then what happens next?" He inquired, brows creasing. "Because, well, I don't think I like you. Actually, I'm quite certain I love you. You're home. You shouldn't be, but for some reason, you're home. And I wish you weren't. Believe me. It'd be so much simpler if you weren't." Tears welled in the male's eyes. "For everyone. I know that. But I can't pretend." He shook his head. " _Jaebal_ , don't ask me to pretend."

In Gook Du's eyes widened as he was hit with a realization that would paralyze him if he thought about it too long. So for once, he chose to act instead. Launching himself forward, he pressed his lips against Ahn Min Hyuk. Being received with enthusiasm, fingers tangled in the police officer's hair as the two male's faces. were crushed together in a desperate attempt to bring each other closer. More tentative in his own movements, Gookdu's hands politely settled on the Minhyuk's waist, stark contrast with the other's erratic moves. Out of breath, Gookdu pulled away. " _Nadu saranghae_." He whispered, before he could think better of it, surprising the both of them.

And all of sudden, everything felt too real. Too heavy, for Ahn Min Hyuk. Panting a little still, he untangled himself from the other male. "I.... Bong Soon." He swallowed. "I came to look for her. She was crying on the phone and I was worried. Still am. I'm, yeah, I'm still worried. So..." He furrowed his brows. "So I have to find her."

In Gook Du nodded, struggling to make sense about what had come over him still. He wasn't a home wrecker. "Go. Find her. She should be your priority."

"You don't get to fucking erase yourself after kissing me like that. Not after telling me you loved me too." Min Hyuk frustratedly replied. "This, is an us thing too now. You included. We have to find her. We, us." Gook Du nodded, entirely uncertain about how to reply to such a declaration with actual words. "Good." The Ainsoft CEO declared, the hint of a smile touching his lips. "Try calling Bongki and Kuyng Shim to see if they heard about her. Her phone has been turned off and it's driving me insane. Meanwhile, I'll go to her parents' house, walk around the dobong-dong a little. Maybe talk to her gang."

"Her what?" Gookdu asked, trademark pose returning as he dealt with his disbelief.

"High schoolers." Min Hyuk clarified, trying to hold in a smile at the shocked expression of the other, hands resting on his hips. "They're a gang of high schoolers that she put back on the right track. Irrelevant right now. Let's find her. Talk to you later." He declared before pressing a chaste kiss to the other's lips, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Then left the inspector alone in the interrogation room. Sometimes Gookdu envied how freely Ahn Min Hyuk lived his lips. Living so whimsically must have been fairly entertaining.

Wetting his bottom lip, the police officer retrieved his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. For a while, he simply watched the black screen wondering whether or not he should get involved at all. Then realized he already was, far too much. And chose to call Kyung Shim first.

"What do you want?" His childhood friend asked, as soon as she picked up.

"Hello to you too. What makes you say I want anything? Can't I call because I want to hear your voice?" The male asked, a faint grin on his lips.

"Bongki? Maybe. You? You never call for no reason. You either over worry or need something." The female replied.

Gookdu chuckled. "Fine. I do need an information, but also, let's schedule something. You and I, just to catch up. No worrying. No querries."

"I bet you won't last an hour. Or, show up a hour late." Gookdu huffed at the pique, making the girl giggle. "You're so previsible. Now spill, what do you need?"

"Bong Soon-ah, do you know where she is right now?" He asked, brows creasing a little.

"No, I haven't heard from her since a couple of days ago. But we do text daily. Do you want me to try contacting her?" Kyung Shim offered.

"Honestly, I'd appreciate it. If you hear anything, just call me or Ahn Min Hyuk." He replied. "And regarding our date, just text me when and where."

"Look at him, taking engagements. All talk, all talk. I won't believe it until you show up on time and actually not worry."

Gookdu grinned at the words. "I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Arasseo. See you later, inspector." She spoke before he hung up.

Gookdu then tried calling Bong Ki, ending up on his voicemail. Expectable. He was a busy man. He probably shouldn't be bothered during his workday. So Gookdu just shot him a quick text asking how he was, and hoping he was overworking himself. Then sighed. Min Hyuk might have had more luck finding her.

Right. Anh Min Hyuk. Her boyfriend. Who kept kissing him and making him feel like that.

He wasn't certain about what he was supposed to make out of his feelings. Out of the whole situation. This wasn't his comfort zone.

_He still wanted to give it a shot._

Gookdu's phone bipped. It was Kyung Shim. Bong Soon wasn't certain where she was either. Just some bus terminus. After thanking the female, Gookdu searched up the line and where it led as he headed out of the precinct. Then called Min Hyuk as he got into his car.

"You found her?" Were the first words spoken by the other male.

"Not yet. Apparently she's at a bus terminal. I'm going there and texting you the infos I have." The inspector replied.

"Alright. I literally just got at her parents' bakery and her mom definitely recognized my car I have to say hi now." Min Hyuk explained. "I'll join you when I can."

"Yeah. Okay. But..." Gookdu cleared his throat. "What do I do when I find her?"

"You kiss her."

"What?!" The officer asked.

"It's not that deep. Even the scores. Rip off that bandage. She's your forever almost, right? Then kiss her." With those words, he hung up.

"I hate this man." Gookdu threw his phone on the passenger seat next to him and put on his seatbelt before taking off. "I can't just kiss her." He grumbled. "This wouldn't solve anything. Just confuse all of us further. What even is he thinking? It's his girlfriend. Ugh." He abruptly stopped at a red light, swearing under his breath. "Those two, they're. They deserve each other. Making a mess out of my life like that. My head too." He huffed. "I'm a good person. And a talented, bright young man. I don't need all that distraction." An attempt to dissuade himself from jumping into the whirlpool that could be them. In Gook Du, Anh Min Hyuk and Do Bong Soon. Sounded explosive. Wild. Dangerous. He was an overworrier. "I have plans about my future, a career to build, a family to—" His brows creased. "A family to start." He finished, wondering about his own vision of family. He'd always thought it was a man and a woman, with kids. But that's because it's what he'd been told was right. Did that make it what he wanted? He wasn't sure. He wasn't certain of much anymore, these days. "But still. That's... That's not right." You had to be somewhat not right to love two people. Who could guarantee that it would be equally? Sure, Ahn Min Hyuk was pretty and a damn gifted kisser. But aside from that, Gookdu knew so little of the man. On top of that, the other person was Bong Soon. And for him, it had always, been Bong Soon. She was his vision of the future, she was a reliable friend, a confident, family when he ran short on it and everything in between. He was, still, undeniably in love with her. Could he give so much of himself to someone else too? Wouldn't it be unfair to Min Hyuk who seemed to care so deeply? To fall so fast and hard?

The male blinked as he almost missed a turned, refocusing on the road ahead of him. "This won't end well." To be accurate, this didn't seem to start well. But who could tell how it would end? Nobody. And no matter how hard he was trying to convince himself not to give it a shot, deep down, the male wanted to try being part of them. " _Us_." He tentatively repeated, the word gaining a different weight now that it could potentially include him.

He made it to the bus terminus without causing any accident, despite his thought occupying so much of his mind. Uncaringly, the male parked on the bus line, recognizing a female figure sitting on her own, a phone held up to her ear. He got out. She stood up, confusion bright in her gaze. "What are you—" He decided to give a shot to living like Ahn Min Hyuk, cupping the female's face in his hands and kissing her like he'd always intended to. Hoping he wasn't too late, this time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gookdu really stunted like that ＼(º □ º l|l)/  
> But what now? Where do they go from here? Is sharing truly possible? What do you guys think? Is Min Hyuk as okay as he thinks sharing Bong Soon? Or even Gookdu? What happens next for those three?


	4. Where do we go from here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've figured out about nothing regarding their relationship. Everything is just too complicated. Nobody quite wants to give up. But Ahn Min Hyuk is the only one ready to fully give in.

Bong Soon closed her eyes, surprised by the harshness of the lips that pressed against her own but desperate to keep them right where they were. Uncaringly dropping her phone, she slid her hands around Gookdu's neck, bringing him impossibly closer as his thumbs pressed against her cheek. There was a frightening finality in that kiss, she knew. Because she didn't love him the way she loved Ahn Min Hyuk. Because when he'd pull away and ask her if she could choose him, she'd say no. Or so she thought.

Gook Du was desperate too, for wildly different reasons. The most important one being that it was everything he'd dreamed of and more. More because it wasn't breaking anyone's heart. More because he wasn't putting their friendship in jeopardy. More because she was there, willing and eager to reciprocate, slender fingers tangling in his hair and lips eagerly parting to let him explore. He licked his way in, careful in a way he wouldn't have believed he could be, mapping every inch possible before he ran out of breath. And even then, even then they breathed each other in, lips barely parting and eyes remaining shut as their bodies remained flushed together.

Then Bong Soon opened her eyes. And the moment broke. Wetting her bottom lip, the female untangled herself from her childhood friend's hold as tears welled in her eyes. She really thought she was stronger than that by now. Stronger than whatever fleeting affection remained in her heart for Gookdu. She was so sure crushes had an expiration date. But apparently there's always an amber remaining when it's your first love.

The male instinctively understood that something was wrong. And took a step back, offering her some space, some air to breathe all on her own. He wasn't Ahn Min Hyuk. He wasn't good at speeches. Barely better at actions. He couldn't explain anything to Bong Soon. Nothing even made sense to him. "I..." He cleared his throat. "I didn't come here to ruin your relationship." He clarified. Because she deserved that much. "Min Hyuk, he..." The police officer's brows creased. "He told me to kiss you. To even the, the scores." He inhaled deeply through his nose, looking up not to have to bear her gaze. "Now it's done. If you want me to go, I can. He's coming to get you."

Bong Soon blinked a few times, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as her face morphed into surprise. "He told you to do this?"

Gook Du nodded. "But I wanted." He admitted. "I've wanted for so long." Gently, did he extend his arm to wipe away the female's tears with his thumb. "I've wanted you. All of you. Very selfishly. So I stole the small scrapes I could have. And if there isn't more you're willing to give, then it's fine." He offered a faint smile before bending down to pick up her phone. "Just wait for him, okay?" The lieutenant reiterated, handing the device back to her before tucking his hands in his pockets. "He'll explain things better than I ever could. And then, well, we'll see." He shrugged before swallowing with difficulty. Turning away, the male squeezed eyes shut for a second before he reopened them, heading back to his car.

_Running off, as always._

**She didn't let him.**

**Not this time.**

Bong Soon reached out, grabbing his arm and holding him there. "You can't keep doing that." She declared, sounding more confident than she would've expected. "You can't keep making me feel things and running away. Not, not when I know you feel them too."

Gook Du sighed through parted lips, eyes twitching for a second. "Are you in love with me?" He asked, blunt but absolutely fearful of her answer.

"No." She replied, surprising herself as the words slipped out so easily, so naturally. "I love you. And I always will. But I," She blinked the blurriness in her eyes away, willing possible tears to disappear with it. "I'm in love with Min Hyuk. And it's already taking so much of me. I don't think I can fairly give to someone else." She admitted, still desperately clinging onto him.

"Then let go." Gookdu begged. " _Jaebal, Bong Soon-ah_. Let me go."

"Don't you think I would have if I could?" She asked in return, making him turn to face her. She loosened her grip as their gazes met, bodies instinctively moving closer to one another to seek comfort. And because he could, because he wanted, because living like Ahn Min Hyuk was absolutely exhilarating, Gookdu wrapped his arm around her and held her close. "That doesn't mean I'm in love with you." She whispered against his chest, making him chuckle. "You're awful, you know that? Stealing my boyfriend's heart while claiming yours in still mine."

"I didn't steal anything." The police officer replied, frowning at the words.

"You did." She argued, pressing herself harder to link her hands on his back. "You stole little pieces of his heart like you stole mine years ago. Loving you, it's... It's like trying to get your hands on an elusive desire. It's annoying, it's a quiet ache when you're not there, it's the feeling of being at home when you are. You're almost never really there. But it makes every time you fully are so vivid."

Gookdu chuckled. " _Gae peul_. I'm not great. I'm not great at thoughtful little actions, I'm not great at grand gesture, I'm not great at getting the timing right. I'm only great at doing my job. That's why I spend more time at the station than in my own house. I'm useful there, capable." He sighed deeply. "You know, I think I did something really bad today."

"Other than kissing someone else's girlfriend, you mean?" She asked, smiling just a little.

"Yes." Gookdu replied. "I told that someone I was in love with him. On a whim." She tensed at the words, but didn't otherwise move. He'd have to face the music. He had to say it all now. "But I dont think I am." She started to untangle her hands. "Wait before you punch me." She paused. "I think I want to, though. I think I could. But I won't if it hurts you, or him." He shook his head. "Min Hyuk made it sound so obvious, so simple. _**Us**. All three_. But, it's not... It's not something I know enough about to feel confident jumping in. And it's not something you decide with only two people present. Or with someone who isn't even sure about what they like about you." He swallowed. "He acts like he's so sure of everything all the time, even though he knows so little about himself. I don't want to be a distraction you both will grow weary of. I don't want to drive a wedge in a solid relationship either. Actually, I don't know what I want. I'm not used to getting the things I want. So I limit my desires to stuffs within my reach, like kimbap for lunch or to obtain a warrant within a twenty-four hour window."

"That's how you steal pieces of people's heart." Bong Soon spoke softly. "With the raw honesty of your own." The female sighed heavily. "I feel like I don't have room to be mad right now. I always felt like I couldn't get mad at you until I met Ahn Min Hyuk. Then I understood that if I had been angrier, louder, bolder, maybe we would've... But right now, it feels like I can't be mad. Like I can't be mad at Min Hyuk-ah for wanting to discover himself. It's exhausting to bottle it all in."

"Then be mad." Gookdu said. "Be angrier, louder, bolder with me. I can handle it. We both know that."

The game developer pulled away entirely to look into his eyes. And faintly smiled when she saw him nod gently at her. "You're far too eager for someone who is absout to get yelled at."

He chuckled. "You're pretty hot when you're angry."

Bong Soon laughed, soft and abandoned. "Ah no! I'm not supposed to be laughing!" Then she schooled her features, bringing her hands to her hips in a very Gookdu fashion. That made him smile far too fondly to let her fully channel her ire. But she still tried. Because he was right, she needed to let some pressure out. "I know I shouldn't be. But I'm mad. I'm mad at him. Not for discovering a new part of himself. But because it's you who did that for him. You're... You and I, we..." Her brows creased. "We had years. And you didn't say a word. And even when I finally figured out how you felt, it wasn't from you. It was from the man I had chosen to entirely devote myself to. And after he told me he kissed you." She chuckled, bitter and wounded. "Actually, what makes me the most mad is that I resented him. I resented him for simply taking what I'd always wanted and being so careless about the whole thing. But then, then he called you home. And I, I hurt for an entirely different reason."

She paused, chin trembling as she swallowed away the nod in her throat to keep going. "Howcome I'm never enough? How come that even, even..." She sniffled softly, an annunciation of coming tears.

"The first thing Ahn Min Hyuk told me when he stepped into my flat was _'I'm in love with Bong Soon'_." Gookdu chose to say, not moving to comfort her. "My company might make it a little easier for him to breathe but you're his oxygen. Home you go back to when you can, but your heart, you take with you everywhere. And it's you, whose in there." He offered a small smile. "He might love me, but he's in love with you. Just like you are. And as you put it earlier, that means, it's taking so much of him that he has very little to give to someone else in such a way." The male indulged himself, reaching out to pat her head. "You are, enough. More than enough."

Bong Soon pressed her lips together, looking down at her feet. A part of her wanted to tell Gookdu that there was some space for him in there. That she was willing to make some. But she didn't. Because she couldn't. Because as much as she wished she could be completely opened to the idea of the three of them, it still felt off. Wrong in a way she couldn't place. She could hear her mother's judgement from here. And what kind of family would that make? What kind of woman would people take her for? After a long inhale, the female looked up. "You're really okay with walking away from us?" Gookdu silently nodded, offering a supportive smile.

"I'm not." A masculine voice spoke. "I'm not okay with you just walking away. You already did before, didn't you?" The police officer's jaw clenched at the words but he remained silent. "Yeah. I thought so." Ahn Min Hyuk spoke. "This isn't even about him walking out or not. It's an us thing now. All three of us." He rose an eyebrow. "I take it as you two kissed." The pair exchanged a look, furiously blushing before they focused back on the third male. " _Kure_. And then, can you say it? Say that you have no feelings for one another? Say that you can just walk away from one another with no regrets? That you got closure and it was enough? Go ahead, say it. And we'll call it quits." Bong Soon's eyes widened as Gookdu chose to close his. "Say it. _Palli (빨리)_." The pair remained silent, unable to meet each other's gaze. "That's what I thought."

"Listen," Gookdu stepped forward. "I get it, where you're coming from. But this has to be something the three of us want to consider. And currently you're the only one sure about this."

Minhyuk laughed, short and entirely awed. "Sure? Of what?" He blinked, incredulous. "I'm the one whose got the most to loose here. Can't you see it? You've known each other since forever. You know each other better than anyone else. And your love for one another survived through the years. Whose to say you won't fall back into old patterns and leave me out?"

"Never!" Bong Soon exclaimed. "You're everything I've ever wanted. You're so good to me, so supportive and kind. You've taught me so much about myself. About love, the right kind of love." Gookdu fondly looked down at the female as she spoke, lips curling up. She did genuinely love Ahn Min Hyuk. With so much of herself. "I'd never want to loose that." That awe was very much present in the eyes of the chaebol son as well. Watching his tiny girlfriend profess her love as a bus honked behind them was probably one of the most romantic moment in his life.

"We have to go." Gookdu spoke. Because he was a stickler for the law.

"Are you coming with?" Bong Soon asked, slipping her hands in Ahn Min Hyuk's.

"I..." The police officer furrowed his brows. "I came with my car."

"You know what she meant." Ainsoft's CEO replied.

Gookdu sighed deeply before asking: "To where?"

"How about we figure it out as we go?" Min Hyuk offered, earning himself a chuckle from the other two.


	5. (Mis)communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk. Or they try to. It doesn't go well. But they all realize important things.

They all sat in silence, on Ahn Min Hyuk's huge couch. Gookdu remained at the very end, clutching the armrest a little too tight as he watched the couple seated a few feet away. None of them had any idea of what to say. That much was made clear by every awkward stolen glance and faint blush.

" _So..._ " Minhyuk broke the silence. Because someone had to. And in typical Ahn Minhyuk fashion, he bulldozed right through the issue with a simple question: "Are we all dating now?"

"No." Gookdu found the voice to say, fixing the carpet beneath his feet. "That's not how any of this works. Or at least, is supposed to." It's hard to say those things. But he knows someone has to. Thus he does it. Because he doesn't want to burden Bong Soon so. He'll take the fall and be the one to upset Minhyuk. "About what I said earlier today... The kiss at the station..." He glanced to the side, barely allowing his eyes to land on the other male for a second before he squeezed them shut, bracing himself for what was about to come. "I didn't mean it. I'm not... I don't..." He sighed. "I can't be in love with you. I don't know how to. And I don't think I truly want to figure it out." He let out a deep exhalation through his lips, eyes kept shut but now more gently, on the brink of opening. "I got carried away and went overboard with the declaration but I'm not, I'm not like you. Either of you. I can't live at this pace."

"I thought we were past pretending this is easy for me." Minhyuk chose to reply, sounding more bored than angry.

Gookdu's jaw clenched, eyes reopening to glare at the other male. "It might not be but you certainly make it seem so."

"Are you mad at me for having walls right now?" The Ainsoft CEO inquired, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

"No. I'm mad at you for having them so thick." The police officer replied.

Minhyuk scoffed at the words. "My walls aren't thick, nor high, idiot. I'm constantly crumbling a little here and there, I'm just much much better at picking myself up and filling the holes."

Gookdu narrowed his eyes. "Then why would you invite a stranger into your relationship?"

"Because I think it's worth it!" Minhyuk frustratedly exclaimed. "Why is that so hard to grasp? That you could be worth it?"

Bong Soon lowered her head at the words, unable to further watch when she knew that one of the reasons Gook Du was objecting so hard was because she didn't feel ready for it. And sadly, much like she couldn't object to the police officer when she was in love with him, she couldn't do it with Ahn Min Hyuk now.

"I'm not." Gook Du quietly replied, with a frightening finality that made the other two pause to take a good look at him. "I'm always too late, incredibly busy with work and absolutely unable to express my feelings." He sighed, keeping his gaze ahead of him, lost into the distance. "I'm abrasive, unforgiving, rightful and lonesome. And though my life isn't perfect, I'm a creature of habits who'd rather avoid society's frown upon me. Especially for something that sounds so experimental. I don't want to gamble my whole reputation on something that might not last." He casted them a glance, taking silent as his cue and stood. " _Gureom_." He respectfully bowed before heading back to the door, neither retrieving his shoes nor his coat. But it didn't matter. He was clutching onto his car keys and that's all he needed to get out and away.

The couple indulged him that much, escapism. Or more so, Bong Soon held Min Hyuk back when he stood to go after him. "Hajima," Her lover tugged against her hold. " _jaebal_." That made him still, refocusing on the female. "Please, don't. I, I'm enough, right?"

Minhyuk furrowed his brows, genuine confusion writing itself on his features. "What do you mean?"

"Me." She repeated. "Just me. And you. It's enough, right?" She asked, words coming out just a little easier than anticipated. A part of her did need to know.

"Is it? Is it really now?" Minhyuk asked, not for him so much as for her own sake. He was met with a nod. " _Kure. Jota (좋다)_." He shrugged. "We can do that. We can go back to being just us. Is that truly what you want?" Bong Soon nodded again. "Alright. Let's do that." He acquiesced.

"Are you filling a hole right now?" Bong Soon carefully asked. "In your walls. Did I make a hole? Did I hurt you?"

Minhyuk shook his head. "I understand that it's unconventional. And it'd unfair to expect you to just jump into something new with me because I want it." He said. "I just thought you wanted it too." He sighed. "When you kissed him, you truly didn't feel anything?"

The female sighed deeply. "I can't say I didn't feel anything but..." She gently shook her head. "I don't think I want to pursue it the way you do."

"Why?"

The female's fingers tangled in her hair as she let out soft whines of frustration. " _Kunyang_." She replied, knowing her answer would be unsatisfactory. "I just..." She bit her bottom lip. "It's difficult you know? To love two people. I did at some point. And I ended up choosing you, which I absolutely do not regret. But I'm just scared, I'm scared you wouldn't choose me. I'm scared we wouldn't manage to remain in that space where we all love two people. And loosing either of you? Again? I just can't."

Ahn Minhyuk swallowed, right eye twitching for a second before. Silently, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm in love with you. Truly. Deeply. And there is no reason for it to ever change. I see a future with you. I truly do."

Bong Soon's chin trembled gently as tears welled in her eyes. Ashamed, she pressed her forehead to his chest. "You said, you said being with him felt like going home. It scared me so much. I thought you wouldn't want to get home to me anymore."

Minhyuk held her tighter, sighing softly as he rested his chin atop of her head. "I'm sorry. I had no idea. I never meant to imply you weren't enough. This, is our home. And I'm the happiest every day that I wake up here to realize you're right beside me." He gently kissed the top of her head. "I promise."

"You say that now, but you don't know about tomorrow." The female whispered gently, a certain exhaustion in her voice.

"I don't. True." He replied. "But," He drew in a breath. "neither do you. And I think, this, us, with him, I think it's worth taking a shot." 

"Why?" Bong Soon inquired, whispering out the word she was afraid had caught in her throat.

"Why do you think?"

"Because you're drawn to attractive new things that leave you curious." She replied, unapologetic and only half joking. "He awakened something in you, and you want to explore that to your heart's content. Without loosing me. So you just clearly ask for both."

The CEO of Ainsoft swallowed at the harshness of that analysis. He blinked, a little taken aback. Then sighed softly, through partly parted lips. "That's not, that's not quite it though." He cleared his throat, gently untangling himself from the female to look into her eyes. "I don't just like him. I," He closed his eyes, bracing himself. "I think I love him. I knew I liked him when he went out to drink with us. I didn't lie about liking his butt mind you, but it became more. Meaningful. He's not a shiny new thing I'm drawn to because he makes me feel tingly inside. He's not something beautiful I want to possess so I can peacefully dissect it. This isn't a passing fancy or whimsical desire." He slowly reopened his eyes, anchoring them in hers as he said: "And that terrifies me."

Bong Soon swallowed, completely at loss of words. She didn't knew how she was expected to react. Nor how she wanted to. Recently she'd been at the receiving end of so many revelations, too many truly. How was she supposed tomake sense of it all? To digest it all? The two others seemed to be taking everything in stride, reacting and communicating so well despite fallouts. But in her case, all she could articulate was stunned silence. Or worries. Rational and irrational alike, webbing themselves in her head and occupying all the space, leaving little for other thoughts, little for emotions.

Silently, the female stood. Leaving behind Minhyuk as she marched out of the room and straight to the nearest guest bedroom. There only, with the door closed and her back pressed to it, did she allow herself to crumble and cry.

Ahn Minhyuk inhaled sharply, fingers tangling in his hair as he wondered if he'd messed with the greatest thing he had in his life. He knew, from experience that honesty wasn't always the best policy. But he also knew how much dancing around truths and play pretends could harm too. That's why he lived in a way that was so honest, and loud. So people knew. Him. What he wanted. What he was capable of. _He needed to feel real._

However, in this specific case, wouldn't pursuing exactly what he desired make him loose something he'd so deeply wanted and obtained? Maybe, maybe he'd never manage to settle. Maybe Bong Soon was right, and he was condemned to jump from a shiny new thing that drew his curiosity to another. Maybe that ache he felt was little more than his insatisfaction from not exploring fully. Maybe it'd pass. It had to? Right? He had to let go.

_**For her.** _

_That sounded an awful lot like settling._

He hated the thought of settling for the love of his life. Loathed the idea that someone he loved so deeply would be ' _enough_ ' more than ' _everything he's ever wanted_ '. When did that shift occur?

Blinking, he refocused his gaze to drink in his surroundings again. And realized that he'd been starring at his coat hanger. His eyes trailed to the shoes left near the entrance and realized that Gookdu had left those along with his jacket. His lips faintly curled up. It seemed too befitting in a way.

**_It felt, right._ **

It also felt like an excuse to see Gookdu one last time. And properly say his goodbyes. Get out of that house a little too. Minhyuk stood, put on his coat and retrieved the jacket only before slipping on his own shoes. He shot the pair of black sneakers a final glance and decided to leave them right where they were.

Stepping out, the young CEO noticed an increasingly familiar car. Brows creasing, he approached it and knocked at the passenger's window. In there, sat Gookdu starring at the wheel in front of him, clutching it tightly. His expression mostly reflected confusion, if not a little hurt. Unpleasantly blank. Ahn Minhyuk knocked louder. Again. Three times before he caught the other's attention. Gookdu's eyes widened in a way that would've been comical were the situation any different. And instead of opening the window, unlocked the door. Minhyuk got the message, nodding before getting in.

"So I guess this is goodbye, huh?" The police officer asked. "I'm sorry for still being here. To be honest, I have no idea why I am. But..."

"It's fine." Minhyuk interrupted. "It's a good thing actually. I was coming to you. To give you, this." He lifted up the jacket, but didn't particularly seem inclined to hand it back.

"Ah." The darker haired male whispered out. "Cool, cool. Thanks." He didn't seem to particularly reach out for it either.

"About Bong Soon..." Minhyuk started.

"Let's not. Please." Gookdu shook his head. "No us. No you and her. Just don't. Because I don't want you to tell me she's not ready. I know that. None of us really is. And I, I don't want you to tell me that it's only her that's blocking this." He looked away from the wheel to glance at Minhyuk. "She's not the villain here."

"I know." The Ainsoft CEO replied gently, lips curling up. Even then, In Gook Du was mindful of her. How could she still doubt they wouldn't always love her?

"Good." Gookdu replied. "It's..." He swallowed. "I don't know man. You just stopped by my house, awakened something and proceed to wreck it all. I knew it, somehow, you'd wreck me. Since that kiss I..." He shook his head. "I mean, it's goodbye, I can indulge myself a little truth, right?" He sighed. "It's great that you live so freely. And I enjoyed trying it out a little. But the consequences, it's... My walls, they're visible, and high and built solid. To keep people out, or away from trying to tear at them. But when there's a crack, I don't know how to fix it. I just let that crack be, hoping it won't crumble. It's different from you. I don't rebuild, I just try to keep going. And it's, it's getting hard these days. So I can't take that sort of risks. I can't just gamble like you. I hope you understand that it's nothing personal. But I can't want this. I don't want to satisfy your curiosity, ever."

Anh Minhyuk pressed his lips together, pondering his words. And sighed. He could tell the truth. They were parting. He should get as much as possible off his chest. "I'm trying not to get offended here, but... I'm not shallow. You and Bong Soon, you think it's just curiosity and not being used to being denied. But it's not. It's not a whim for me. I'd be gambling my future too, you know?"

Gookdu frowned, visibly taken aback. "I understood that. I think what you don't understand, is that people are scared you'd simply grow bored of them. Because you can, and proved that you would, get anything you want. It's hard to see you settle. It's hard to think that you're enough for a person with so many possibilities. It's not about your fickleness. Just my own insecurities and lack of confidence. If I satisfy your curiosity, what guarantees that you'll stick around once you've figured it all out and can simply move to something new?"

Minhyuk scoffed. "Now I'm offended." He pressed the jacket against Gookdu's chest. "Just to be clear, it's not easier for me than it is for anybody else. I hardly bond with others. So when I bother to do it, I don't want it to end. There's no preset expiration date on relationships asshole. Simply because they might not end at all. But it's good to know that you've played the blame game ahead and decided that it would be my fault anyway." He chuckled, nodding a few times. "Wow. I thought I had, at the very least earned your trust and respect. If you really do think I'm this fickle, why do you even let me be with Bong Soon? Is she not your friend? Do you not worry that I'd break her heart once I'd be bored?"

Gook Du merely blinked. "No." He replied. "No. I think you're entirely devoted to her and I want it to remain that way forever. You make her happier than no one ever did. And you're so much better than I at the dating thing. I know you'll do good by her."

Just like that, Ahn Min Hyuk's ire faded away, his jaw relaxed, and the breathing through his nose grew quiet. "Then why can't you trust I'd be the same with you?" He asked quietly. For closure.

"Because I'm not half as great as Bong Soon." The police officer confessed, with that same quiet tone. "Everybody eventually grew bored of me. And it's okay. I'm not unhappy with who I am." He offered his interlocutor a tentative smile. "Thank you. For the jacket amongst other things. Let's part in good terms. And when fate allows for our next meeting, let us recognize a friend in one another."

The chaebol heir closes his eyes at the words, expression sober despite the prickling sensation under his eyelids. "I prefer the beach to the mountains. My favorite fruit is strawberry and I can't handle spicy food. Sports are an absolute bore to me, but I can play soccer. And I absolutely love lollipops." He enunciated before reopening his eyes. " _Please, remember._ " The lighter haired male added, looking straight into Gookdu's eyes. The other male nodded, lips further curling up. "Thank you. Too. For unlocking a part of me. And also making me embrace it. I meant everything I've ever said to you."

"That's not fair." Gookdu replied, brows creasing as tears prickled in his eyes. Pressing his sleeve to his face for a second, the male let out a wet chuckle. "It's okay, it's all okay. Or it will be in the end, I'm sure." He held out a hand for Ahn Min Hyuk to shake. "I don't really know what else to do." He admitted, as he saw the other's gaze shift from his hand back to him. Without a word, the game developer took the hand offered and shook it.

_**Neither let go**. _

_Neither was ready, to let go_.

_When goodbyes last so long, one may wonder... Does anyone truly want to part?_


	6. Enough.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bongki is the best kind of friend. Gookdu appreciates that. And Bong Soon comes to the realization that she might be ready for two, great loves. In the least expected way.

They're laying in bed, lights off, their backs to one another when she finally speaks again. "You want him, don't you?" Bong Soon questioned, as if the answer wasn't obvious. As if that conclusion hadn't imposed on all of them.

"Don't you?" Min Hyuk chose to ask back, shifting to face her. She didn't budge, the few feet between them seemed too wide to cross. So he settled for observing the outline of her body, patiently awaiting for her to be ready.

"I asked first." She pointed out, unmoving still as her heart started to thump in her chest.

"I asked second." The chaebol heir petulantly replied. "And you already know that I do." He added more gently but still choosing raw honesty. She chuckled softly, something a little choked. He frowned, unable to see her face and worried about what he'd find in those precious eyes.

She hastily wiped away a tear, not unnoticed to him but not quite acknowledged either. Darkness was her chosen cloak, he knew. So he didn't turn on any light. And let her instead utter what could only be said in the dark. "I'm so scared." Those three little words were enough to make him cross a distance that seemed insurmountable seconds ago still. Protectively, he wrapped an arm around her, gently pressing the length of his body against her. He was there, tangible. And there was nowhere else he wanted to be.

Certain of his support, she went on: "I'm not just scared for me. But for all three of us. I don't think I could bear to bring anyone heartbreak." She chewed on her bottom lip for a second. "Gookdu-yah, he's..." Her brows creased. He tightened his hold. "He's so lost and vulnerable. He only has himself. If we, if we ever resumed to being just us, we'd break him. I don't want to, I don't, it's too much to be responsible of someone else's happiness, of someone else's heart. And then, it's the same for you, if him and I, we, if we ever, if I broke your heart I'd never manage to live with it. Most of the time it's just us and I can't bear the thought of you being alone again."

Minhyuk pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "See, that means you do care for us both. And enough to be mindful of both of our hearts. So why—"

"I'm not done." She cut him, sounding more biting, but quieter too. "There's also you and him. Actually it's mostly you and him. He awakened something in you. And let me clarify that I don't mean you weren't pansexual or bisexual before you met him, or that you aren't really pansexual or bisexual while dating me. But he's your epiphany. He's it for you. That very deep and personal truth. Just like he was my sexual awakening, mind you. I know the appeal. But the simple thought of you and him together, without me, it's so scary. What if after trying things out with the both of us, you decide that it's him that you prefer? You can't really be at fault because you're still discovering yourself. But the thought of loosing the love I thought would be my last, to the first one, is terrifying me. You both mean so much to me...."

"Can I be honest with you? Will you forgive me for it, no matter what I say?" Minhyuk asked, an uneasiness in his tone. She hummed. "No, I need you to say it, please. Say you'll forgive my honesty."

Slowly, the female shifted and he loosened his grip to allow for the movements. Once she faced him, Bong Soon quietly whispered: "I don't need to forgive your honesty. It's one of the things I like the most about you. Please, feel safe enough to always be honest with me." She whispered, before wrapping her arms around his middle and pressing her head to his chest enjoying the reassuring, familiar scent that lingered in his clothes. He wrapped his arms around her, there, they both felt safe.

Minhyuk's eyes fell shut. He inhaled deeply before speaking. "I wanted to give Gookdu his forgotten stuffs back earlier today. I need to get out of the house, and you needed your space too, to process things."

"But his shoes are still here..." Bong Soon pointed out.

"I..." Minhyuk sighed. "Full honesty, I only took his jacket. I needed the shoes to have another reason to contact him later. For you, for us. I don't now for sure. But when I went out, he was still there, sitting in car. Parked right next to mine. And he looked so confused. I felt sorry for him. We talked for a while, about us, about you. He loves you so much." Ainsoft's CEO chuckled at that, founding his lack of jealousy peculiar but pleasant. "And then, we said our goodbyes. We shook hands for a long while." He swallowed. "None of us let go, it was mostly silence. But not quiet for me. Just white noises until we were kissing. Only then, it became quiet. It seemed like an appropriate goodbye kiss. Slow and silent. Nothing confusing but very clear for the both of us. But it wasn't. It wasn't a goodbye kiss. It was a confused hello that got lost and found at the end. I don't really remember what happened next, just sensations. Mostly his lips, his hands. Gookdu, he... He's good at taking off layers without you noticing. He peels at you and then all suddenly, you're left bare and craving for more. I want to see more, his heart. Past getting off in the driver seat of a car. It felt right for a little while, the buzz, but then we both remembered we loved you, and watching the heartbreak settling in his gaze? That's how I knew it really was goodbye."

"Oh." Bong Soon reacted, oddly calm. She didn't pull away. Instead, she leant up to press her lips against Minhyuk's. A shallow attempt to chase a taste that would be long gone, she knew. He'd showered a while back, before she emerged from the guest room.

Confused, the male pulled away. "You're not mad?"

"I..." She sighed. "It's weird, but I'm not sure whether I feel incredibly jealous of you or just very mad at him. It's confusing. But, it's also very hot to be both?" Her hands traveled, sliding underneath Minhyuk's shirt. "Did he put his hands there?" She inquired, voice a little low and raspy before biting the male's neck. He hummed in agreement. She slid her hands further up. "And there?" Another, lower, hum. She licked a trail along the side of his neck, to nibble at his ear, gently. "But did he kiss you where he touched you?" He whispered for sole reply. That didn't sound like an objection to her. So using just a bit of her strength, shifted their positions to remain atop of him, gently prying the shirt of him before pressing a couple of fluttering kisses to his chest. "You're still mine." She declared before claiming his lips.

His hands anchored themselves on her hips, body rolling slowly for their heat to meet. She moaned, temporarily freeing his lips. "Still yours, I promise. Always."

"Then I suppose, I perhaps, could learn how to share." The female replied.

"So I'm the one whose gonna be shared?" The male defiantly inquired. "Just me? Does that mean I get to have him all for myself?"

Her turn to body roll, painfully pressing herself against him in controlled friction. She chuckled at his low whines. "I think you had more than a taste of him already. I've waited years. And if it lives up to the sample I had with his kiss today then I might just—" She was cut off by a kiss. Because her boyfriend would much rather she focus on him and just him than hear her voice her fantasies about another man. No matter how much he might like that other man.

~*~

"You're not doing this for me, right?" He asked for the hundredth time as she cooked breakfast. Minhyuk never helped when it came to breakfast, choosing instead to watch her move around the kitchen from his spot at the counter. She looked like she belonged right where she was and knew exactly where to find what she was looking for. Just watching her exist so confidently in his space, in their space, did some things to his heart.

Bong Soon glanced over her shoulders to offer him a shy smile. "I'm not really doing anything yet." She replied. "But I think, I do want to try, for myself, and us."

He grimaced a little at the words, uncertain of their meaning. "It's really fine. Yesterday, it..." He faintly blushed, lowering his head. It did nothing to hide the red tip of his ears. "It didn't count as a promise of any sort. I don't take your forgiveness for granted. Nor do I expect you to jump into anything you don't really want. Gookdu wouldn't want that either..." He sighed. "Besides, we already said our goodbyes."

A hand of hers fell on the back of his neck, gently sliding in the nape of his hair. "I know that." She sincerely replied. "I'm not trying to accommodate your wishes. I want this too, I think. I've always wanted it in a way. It's just terrifying too. We're at the edge of a cliff here, and we'd be jumping into the unknown. You, you're ready to just jump, you've always been. But me, I needed to take a couple of steps back and regain some momentum before jumping. This is it now, I think I'm ready to jump."

Minhyuk's lips slowly curled up, his gaze daring to meet with his girlfriend's again. "What about Gookdu, then? Do you think he's ready to jump too?"

She sighed softly. "I don't know for sure, I think he's been looking down at the steep fall from the edge for a while now. I think every time he tries to run and jump off he decelerates just a little closer to that edge. But I can't tell if he's really ready for it, jumping into the unknown?"

"Do you think he could resent us if we tried pushing him?" Minhyuk asked, his tone growing increasingly serious. He was asking Gookdu's old friend, the one who knew him best, before he was asking his lover.

So she offered the reply Gookdu's friend would have. "Yes." It came out, blunt and unapologetic. "He will never do something he doesn't want to do. And while he may want us now, he doesn't trust that we want him enough to be with us. Pushing him while he's drowning in interrogations and probably panicking inwardly already will make him send us away. He'll dismiss us because it's simpler. And then bring all his energy back into his work."

Ahn Min Hyuk certainly didn't want that. He wanted the very opposite even, he wanted In Gook Du. But... "How do we get him then?"

"We," Bong Soon grinned a little at the use of that specific pronoun. "eat breakfast and then, we, see if we, can talk to him." She pressed a chaste peck to the male's lips before pulling away to refocus her attention on cooking. Minhyuk sighed happily, content to refocus his attention on her as she merely existed in his space. Scratch that. Their space. Their home. Absentmindedly, the male spun on his stool to glance towards the entrance of the house, a faint smile blossoming on his lips when he saw a certain pair of black shoes still there. Then he glanced back towards his girlfriend, and his smile widened. 

~*~

Gookdu was... Well, he wasn't having the time of his life. And desperately wanted to talk to Bongki about it. But he also knew that his best friend was Bong Soon's brother. And it wouldn't be fair on him. So he didn't say anything.

However, Do Bong Ki noticed. He always did when it came to his over worrying best friend. So going several days without a call or text from Gookdu was certainly destabilizing. That's why instead of sleeping his whole day after a night shift, he was on his feet by ten. And left Dobonggu for the Gangnam district. He'd been there before, probably was the only one Gookdu had willingly taken for a visit of his new workplace. He never smiled quite as bright as when he was talking about his job. But he didn't talk about it much with others, choosing instead to focus on them. Sometimes it gave the impression that he had no life of his own and was little more than a spectator of yours, absent and there at the same time. But Bongki had understood early that it was how Gookdu lived, quietly. Afraid to be passionate at the wrong moment or about the wrong things. So he was just watching others exist, basking in their company for as long as he had it, ready to let go of it whenever.

Hopefully, Bong Ki thought, his best friend wasn't letting go of him right now. Sure, he had cut his ties with Bong Soon but the Bong family still saw him as a son. Bong Ki still saw him as brother. Otherwise he wouldn't spend his rare free time doing activities he was shit at just to see Gookdu exist a little louder.

Sighing, the male pushed the door of the police station, politely introducing himself to the person at the reception and informing them of whom he came to see. He was, probably, the most law abiding person of the group. Gookdu included. After all, you have to know the law well to disregard it properly. Once he'd been indicated that he could, the male went through the station to his friend's desk. And found no one there. But three empty coffees cups. And a fourth spilled on papers. He chuckled, awaiting for his friend to return. The swore came before Gook Du was in sight. "How many times did I tell you to invest in a thermos?" Bong Ki chose to ask first. Then he went on with: "You didn't burn yourself right? Let me see?"

Gookdu just chuckled, moving away to clean his mess. "People say I worry but you fuss over like a mom. I swear." The police officer spoke, as he pressed a dry sponge against the spilled coffee. "I've had way worse than a coffee burn."

"That does not make me feel any better." Bongki replies, brows furrowing. "Do you ache anywhere currently? I don't mind taking a look." The doctor grew closer to his friend, absentmindedly probing to check.

"Oh my God." Gookdu, removed Bongki's hands and glanced around, a faint blush blossoming on his cheeks despite the semi threatening glare he was trying to maintain. Then his gaze fell back on his friend, and he turned fond. "I'm fine, I swear." He replied. "Not even a fresh bruise in a week." 

"Stop making that sound like an achievement." Bongki replied. "And start taking better care of yourself."

"Yes, mom." The police officer replied before disappearing again.

"We keep telling him that. But he doesn't listen." An older man spoke. "Kid's talented, but I worry he likes danger a little too much."

Bongki sighed softly, something between a fond chuckle and an exasperated huff. "He's devoted."

"He sure is. He arrives earlier than all of us and leaves later when he does bother to leave." The older officer stood. "Somebody should definitely fuss over his health. I would, but I'm only assigned here temporarily. That, and I have kids of my own. Oh yeah, I have them too." He gestured towards the entrance of the police station with his chin, where two officers seemed to be smacking each other's arms.

Bongki blinked recognizing one of them. It was the infamous Dong Baek. The older man chuckled reading his expression and merely clasped a hand on his shoulder before walking past him. Shaking his head, Bong Ki watched him go before refocusing on the task at hand.

Gookdu returned a couple of minutes later, with another plastic cup of coffee. "Tell me you didn't squeeze that sponge in there." Bongki begged, shaking his head. He knew how his friend was when absorbed by a case. And what he'd just heard did nothing to reassure him.

"Gross." Gookdu replied. "No, I just made myself another coffee."

"How about I treat you out for lunch? I'll get you a coffee that doesn't come from a machine older than you. Maybe even actually brewed by a person?" The doctor offered offered.

The police officer narrowed his eyes and hummed softly. "Why are you here? Did Bong Soon say something?"

"No. But now I know that there's something going on." Bong Ki replied. "We haven't caught us in days, I was getting worried you'd be kidnapped or worse, stopped caring about me."

"I see you have your priorities straight." Gookdu chuckled. "Fine, I guess I have no other choice but to accept your lunch invitation." He left the cup of coffee on his now cleaned desk. "Let's go."

"You're planning to drink it when you return, right?" Bongki asked, as they walked towards the exit. Gookdu merely hummed in agreement, clasping his hands on his friend's shoulders and leading him out. "You're the worst friend a doctor could have. You're genuinely bad for my health. I'm gonna have an ulcer and then—"

"Fine." Gookdu interrupted. "I won't drink that coffee even though I paid for it." He huffed. "You should be ashamed of guilt tripping people, man." He told his best friend, before holding the door of his car for him to get in. Bongki awed. "Just get in the car before I change my mind and go back in to drink the coffee I paid for." The doctor pouted but did as he was told. And Gookdu closed the door before moving around the car to climb into the driver seat.

"Oh my God, he's literally taking out another guy already, I can't believe it." Minhyuk commented, sounding thoroughly put off. "Does he want to get over us that badly? That quickly?!" He went on, glaring as the car drove off.

"The guys seems familiar though." Bong Soon said, narrowing her eyes. "I didn't take a good look at his face, but I know I know him."

"You think?" Minhyuk asked, sounding even more furious now. "Well, let's find out." He started his own car, planning to follow Gookdu and his 'date' wherever they were going.

Which turned out to be not very far. They parked near a small restaurant called Sun Restaurant. It seemed fairly popular judging by the amount of cars on the small parking lot. That made it easier to blend in. Gookdu was the first to step out of the car, but second later, the passenger door was opening too. And the two started to talk over the hood of the car for a couple of seconds, before they closed their respective doors. Then, they rejoined and headed towards the entrance together, offering a good look at their faces to Bong Soon and her boyfriend.

"OHMYGOD! IT'S BONGKI!" Bong Soon face palmed as they entered the restaurant.

"He's seeing your brother?!" Minhyuk asked, sounding absolutely shocked.

"What?" Bong Soon blinked. "No, Minmin..." She chuckled. "You've met Bong Ki's girlfriend. Hyeji? The one who plays the cello? Gookdu's ex?"

"Oh. Right." Ire instantaneously left the male's body.

"We're idiots." Bong Soon hid her face behind her hands. "We're literally idiots. Of course he's out with his best friend."

"Hey, at least it confirmed that it's an us thing now. There's literally an imprint of your hand on the handle of the car door. You were just as jealous as I was." Minhyuk pointed out, raising his eyebrows.

"That's..." Bong Soon sighed. "Yeah, I suppose." The realization seemed to down on her, a subtle frown taking ahold of her features. Now she had something else to worry about: What if Gookdu simply wasn't ready for them? Minhyuk sensed the shift and reached out to her, linking their fingers together before lightly squeezing her hand.

~*~

"I swear the Hulk pastas are good." Gook Du reiterated. "Yes it's a weird name and the one making them constantly sucks on a lollipop, but they're good."

"I still don't want to try." Bong Ki repeated. "I don't even like pesto."

"It's not pesto, it's..." Gookdu sighed, he genuinely had no idea about what was in there.

"Delicious, it's delicious." Said a man approaching them. He was holding a lollipop in a hand. "Pleasure to meet you, I'm Chef Heo. I heard you were talking about the Hulk Pasta. I created that dish when I was still a commis, you see, I always had a vision and—" A hand clasped around the Chef's shoulder. "Cordon how dare you interrupt me?"

"A new table is ready, I was thinking of installing them. Or would you like to do it...chef?" Cordon asked. The other male narrowed his eyes for a second before simply nodding. After offering a curt nod, he headed back to the open kitchen. Cordon offered the two a kind smile and led them towards a table. "Sorry for him, he's just... Very proud of his accomplishments."

Bongki nodded. "It's alright, thank you." The worker offered them a polite bow before taking his leave as well. "So..." The doctor started. "Will you finally tell me what's going on between you and my sister? I thought this case was closed."

"It is. For good now. I'm certain." In Gook Du replied. "There will never be anything between your sister and I, not even friendship anymore."

"What makes you so sure now? What happened?" Bong Ki asked, frowning. Neither Bong Soon nor Gook Du were people who gave up on bonds they held dear. It made no sense for their childhood friendship to end so suddenly.

Gook Du deeply breathed through his nose. "I had sex with her boyfriend in the driver seat of my car, for starters."

"You what?!" Bong Ki's eyes widened, blinking owlishly.

Gookdu glanced around, awaiting for the few gazes on them to pass before he went on: "In my defense, a lot happened that day, okay? Minhyuk insisted for me to kiss her after I told him I loved him, so I did and then we went back to their place—"

"I really don't want details." Bong Ki interrupted, grimacing.

"No, it's not like that." Gookdu shook his head. "Really not. We just talked there. And I realized I wasn't ready to be with the both of them. But then I couldn't leave, for some reason. And Minhyuk found me out there and then..." He gestured vaguely in the distance.

"That's..." Bong Ki cleared his throat. "That is, a lot. I'm not even sure I understand. You love them both? They love you both? What's going on there? You told Ahn Min Hyuk you loved him and he told you to kiss my sister? What?"

The police officer scrunched up his nose in distate. "It feels so weird that she's your sister. I shouldn't be telling you any of this."

"Yeah..." Bong Ki sighed. "It's weird for me too. But you don't have anyone else to confide in, do you?"

Gookdu swallowed at the remark, realizing how painfully true it rang. He could count the people he held close on a single hand. Two if you added work related people. But there was only one person he felt confortable pouring his heart and soul to. He probably needed to see an actual psychologist too. Just in case.

"Look, I really didn't say it to make you embarrassed." Bongki spoke. "I just want you to know that I am ready to be there for you. Even when," He winced a little. "even when it's about your sex life or my sister, or worse, both."

Gookdu chuckled. "There really isn't much to say here. They're in love with each other."

"Yeah, maybe I hallucinated it but I think I also heard you mention dating both of them. Is it something you want or something they offered to you? Because if they did, odds are, they probably care about you too." The doctor pointed out.

That elicited another chuckle from his friend. "They, didn't offer anything. Ahn Min Hyuk barged into my life, claimed he had a crush on me or something and next minute he wanted to jump into a threesome." He sighed. "I don't know how this guy does it, but for a second, I really considered it."

"And what made you change your mind?" Bongki inquired.

"Your sister." Gookdu replied. "She was the voice of reason for once. She spoke about her fears, about how unstable it could be to love two people. She spoke about wanting what was best for Minhyuk too, selflessly." He swallowed. "I just don't think that's me. I'm not," A heavy sigh moved his chest. "I'm not good for anyone. I've cared for two women in my life, two" He held two fingers up. "and I treated neither of them right. So who am I to fuck up a completely functional and happy relationship with my own.. fuckedupness? Is it a word?" He asked, frowning.

"Who, in this world, and today, can say that they're not just a little fucked up?" Bong Ki asked. "My mother constantly nags me about how to fortify my weak sperm to give her grandchildren, I see hurt people on a daily basis and I locked myself in one of the hospital's break room to cry about a patient I lost during triage a couple of hours ago. I didn't even knew their name."

Gook Du frowned, the worry wart in him resurfacing. "How old were they?" He asked.

"Too young." Bongki replied, brows creasing. He clenched his jaw hard, eyes falling shut for a second. "Brain aneurysm due to polycystic kidney disorder. It's genetical."

Gookdu silently nodded. "There was nothing you could do." The police officer recited, monochord. "That sounds incredibly empty doesn't it?" He commented. "But it's the truth. Sometimes, there simply is nothing we can do. And being powerless? Realizing that at some point, we're bound to be a little too late, or fall a little short? It feels awful. But it does make every single time we managed to achieve something all the more meaningful."

Bongki sighed heavily but nodded. "Right." He shook his head, forcing a small smile as the waiter approached with... Two bowls of pasta?

"We didn't order yet." Gook Du informed.

"I know." The waiter replied. "But Chef Heo wanted you both to have a taste at his freshly baked Hulk Pasta." He replied, before putting the plates in front of them. "Enjoy what you eat and you won't gain any weight." He finished with, before turning away.

Gookdu snorted. And before he knew, with a simple glance, he'd dragged Bongki down the rabbit hole. The both of them laughing about nothing in particular, but pleased all the same.

"Ah. I needed that." Bongki declared, picking up his chopsticks.

"Me too." Gookdu quietly replied. "The past few days have been too intense."

"I bet." The doctor replied. "Mr Goody two shoes probably doesn't have sex in his car in broad daylight often."

Gookdu's whole face grew hot, reddening his cheeks. "It wasn't really..." He sighed. "We didn't... There was no... Aish, let's call it what it is. It was a make out session with a ridiculously short period of dry humping. It literally took more time to get our shirts off than come. It felt like being a horny teenager all over. Not in a good way."

"TMI. Right in front of my pasta." Bongki sighed, dropping his chopsticks to drink water.

"You asked for it." Gookdu simply replied, before shoving some pasta in his mouth.

"I..." The doctor sighed. "I'm really too fucking good of a friend. Because all I can think about is, this is how far you ever took it with a guy right? It's new for you too?"

Gookdu chuckled. "Nope. It's not. But let's keep that story for when you're not trying to have lunch." He replied. "That's me being a good friend."

Bongki's lips parted but he merely huffed, choosing not to question his friend's words. "Are you planning to see him again? Ahn Min Huyk. Do you love him?"

"I can't do that. I'm in love with your sister. And she's in love with him. And he's in love with her. They're an us, without me. I'm not messing with something that great."

Bong Ki sighed. "Now, this might come as an entire surprise and you may struggle to believe it but, you, are, great, too." He tsked as Gookdu opened his mouth. "Don't interrupt me. I'm not saying this just because you're my best friend. But because objectively, you're pretty great. You're good looking, and you have a stable job, no credits and a normal relationship with your mother." Gookdu chuckled at that remark. "I'm serious, you have no idea how rare that is nowadays. As for your personality, sure, you're work oriented, but that also makes you truthful, loyal and driven. Besides you over text to compensate, fuss over your loved ones like a concerned dad and you always have valid excuses for being late. It doesn't entirely makes up for it but it's easier to forgive you. Especially if you're off making the world a little safer for everyone."

"You make me seem so great." Gookdu's lips curled up. "God, I love you. Shall we elope to France and get married? Bet your mom will leave your sperm alone for a while after that."

Bongki rolled his eyes. "Catch her telling me she always knew and find us a surrogate in a week."

Gookdu laughed at that. "Yeah, I think your mom's eagerness to have grandkids is the only issue with my genius plan."

"Obviously." Bongki replied. "Otherwise I'd just get my passport, pack and go anywhere with you."

"I love you." Gookdu reiterated.

"And Bong Soon. And her boyfriend. How awkward." Bongki replied, dodging the bread crumbs thrown his way. 

~*~

Gookdu insisted on driving Bongki back to his house after lunch. His best friend looked exhausted, and absolutely drowsy after two glass of wine. He definitely was gonna sleep well after that judging by the way his head lolled. Chuckling, Gookdu parked in front of the Do's house. He got out and went to open his friend's door, gently undoing the seatbelt before lighting shaking Bongki's shoulder. "You're an idiot." He declared softly, helping his friend out. "You should have stayed home to rest." He grumbled, as Bongki's head fell against his shoulder. The doctor was an affectionate drowsy. Had always been. Gookdu merely ruffled his hair before closing the door of the car. "There are gonna be stairs, dude, you should probably wake up fully." He warned.

"Gookdu-yah! It's been too long!" Bongki's mother declared, getting out to meet them at the top of the stairs. Her eyes fell on her son and she smiled fondly. "Aw, you're taking such good care of our son."

"And Bong Soon's boyfriend." Bongki hummed softly, against Gookdu's neck.

"What was that?" Mrs Do asked.

"Nothing." Gookdu replied. "Bongki was just asking me to inform you that we're going to France to get mar—"

A hand was clasped over his mouth as Bong Ki suddenly stood straight. " _Ah, eomma, guenchachana, jeongmal_." He informed as a grinning Gookdu removed his hand. "Just two friends joking."

The older woman nodded. "I'm glad." She offered them a smile. "Gookdu you should come in and have a drink with us before you depart."

" _Emo_ , you know I can't say no to you." Gookdu replied, following the woman down the stairs, Bongki behind him. Gookdu dodged as a hand flew to smack the back of his head, laughing as they approached the door.

"You're so dumb, I swear." Bongki spoke, grinning a little too. 

Their smiles disappeared as soon as they entered the living room, to find Minhyuk and Bong Soon there with the siblings' father. "Bong Soon-ah, look who it is!" Mrs Do excitedly declared, wrapping an arm around Gookdu's arm. "It's been too long, right?"

Gookdu swallowed, gently freeing his arm. "I should get going though. My break is coming to an end. And if my mom finds out I was in the neighborhood and didn't stop by her place, she'll write me off her will." He joked before politely bowing.

"I'll see you out." Bongki went on, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, what about the tea?" Mrs Do asked. "Just a little cup. It won't take long, you'll see your mother afterwards!" Bongki and his father rolled their eyes. Now that Gookdu had mentioned wanting to see his mother, his wife would certainly make sure he'd spend more time here than at her place. "Come on." She removed her son's hands from Gookdu's shoulder to lead him further in the room. "Sit, sit, I'll be right back with a cup!"

Awkwardly, Gookdu sat on the floor, watching the woman disappear in the kitchen. Her husband followed her in as Bongki settled next to Gookdu. The police officer seemed absolutely absorbed by the patterns on the floor.

"So...." Bongki cleared his throat. "How have you been Minhyuk-ssi?"

"Didn't you come back from a night shift a couple of hours ago?" Bong Soon asked. "Shouldn't you go to bed and rest, now?"

Bongki glanced towards Gookdu, who was helplessly looking at him, eyes wide. Then back to his sister, who held up a clenched fist. Then back to Gookdu who just looked desperate and sighed. "Sorry bro." He stood back up. "She's right, I'm exhausted." Gookdu truly wanted to be angrier, but he'd witnessed with his own eyes how tired his friend truly was, so he let this one go. And just watched as Bongki disappeared in the corridor.

"I'll drain that cup and leave, I swear." Gookdu quietly spoke, refocusing his eyes on the floor. He was currently unable to hold their gaze.

"It's okay." Bong Soon replied softly. "Nobody's pushing you away." She inhaled through her nose. "In fact we'd much rather invite you in."

The dark haired male looked up at the words, searching for clarity in her orbs. Did she mean... "We?" He asked, being met with a nod as the two held hands. So now, the both of them were ready for whatever they were supposed to grow to be. Now, it was just him and his doubts without the shield of Bong Soon's reticence. "But.. I... We..." He focused on Minhyuk.

"She knows." He replied, the tip of his ears reddening.

"Oh." He turned to Bong Soon. "And you don't care?"

"Actually I do." She replied. "A lot. About both of you."

A thrumming filled Gookdu's ears. Now, they were waiting for him. Now, he was a real option. Now, he had a real opportunity. He stood. And without a word, left the house.

"He forgot his shoes." Minhyuk commented. "Again."

"He's overwhelmed." Bong Soon replied gently, before squeezing her boyfriend's knee.

"No. He's panicking." Bongki informed. "Don't mind me, I'm just getting a glass of water before going back to bed."

"Spill. Now." Bong Soon intimated.

"There's nothing to spill. He already told you. He doesn't think he's enough. For either of you." With those words, the doctor disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two others completely stunned.

_It's easy to grow to believe you're not worth the time when people grow bored of you. But sometimes, people merely vacate the space for others, more significant and valuable, to fill it._


	7. Tell me, tell me more, tell me again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gook Du is an idiot. But he's a sweet, sweet, moron. And he's got plenty of people who'll love him in spite of that. He just has to learn how to accept that love and feel worthy of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell you, 'Tell Me You Love Me' by Demi Lovato is basically the soundtrack of this chapter. Or maybe of Gookdu's whole life akdbeoznasijjfkesj

Gookdu drove back to work in an autopilot mode. He'd done it so often and remembered the way so clearly that he didn't have to be too mentally involved to get where he was going. He was lucid enough to pay attention to meaningful informations as he drove mind you. But he couldn't really compute the data his body was processing. He was too focused on trying not to panic for that.

What was he supposed to do now? Saying no was growing incrementally difficult. But saying yes was far too frightening. Before, Bong Soon's hesitation was comforting him in his decision. Now, it was just him and his choices. And nothing felt clear. It was all blurry, like watching the world exist too around you while you're stuck in slowmo. Hard to make out the details, hard to muster enough care to grab someone and ask for help. He just wanted quiet. And away.

That's why he'd fled, leaving so fast he forgot his shoes. That's why he couldn't hold their hopeful gazes. That's why he always grew evasive when things became personal. The closer people got, the harder he tried to keep them away. He knew. It had been a protection mechanism since his father's death. So far, Bongki had been the only person to find the breach in his well built walls. And while Gookdu was grateful his friend had bothered to search for it, he couldn't quite figure out why anyone would. There was little to see past those thick walls of his. Or so he thought.

After parking his car amongst other vehicles, the male got out and sighed. This was ridiculous. He didn't even have shoes on anymore because of how fast he cowardly fleed. For a cop, it was almost shameful. Good thing was, his sports clothes, including a much appreciated pair of sneakers currently sat in his locker. He just needed to get there and pray the fewest people possible noticed.

No big deal. It wasn't like police officers were paid to notice strange occurrences and odd behaviors or anything of the sort...

_Except they were._

And as soon as he stepped a (bare) foot inside the police station, one of his colleagues was asking if he was alright. Gookdu nodded, trying to muster as much decorum as he could while he ignored curious gazes to return to his locker.

The afternoon would certainly be a long shift.

~*~

"Hey," Fingers tangled in the male's dark hair, gently running across. It felt reassuring enough that Gook Du didn't instinctively react, instead re-emerging softly from a nap. Blinking, the police officer wondered when he'd even fallen asleep or why nobody had come to awaken him. Looking at the computer screen ahead of him, he saw that what was once the beginning of a police statement was now just pages and pages of '은ㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴㄴ'. Sighing, Gukdoo looked up to whomever had awakened him and smiled fondly, surprised to find such a pretty face here. "overworked yourself again?"

"Kyung Shim-ah..." The male let out softly, making the female grin. "What are you doing here? Were we supposed to meet tonight? I don't think I saw any text..." He admitted, reaching out for his phone in the back pocket of his dark jeans.

"No, no." She said softly. "I just thought I could stop by..."

Gook Du furrowed his brows. "I'm fairly sure you and Bong Soon swore to make your visits to police stations as few as possible." He spoke. "I kinda like that. Knowing you'd stay out of trouble." He added, leaning back in his chair.

"I am. I swear. I came to see you." The female said. "Won't you take me out? I'm one of your oldest friends and you're captain now. We never celebrated. You owe me a drink or two."

Gook Du considered it for a second, eyes narrowing as his head lightly tilted to the side before eventually glancing around. There were so many officers left still. And he'd slept on the job. Surely it'd translate poorly to just leave now... "You should go." One of his sunbaes said. "You do more than enough. You're always the last to leave and the first to arrive kid. Take the night off. Get a good sleep too and come back bright and able tomorrow, will ya?"

Blinking in surprise, Gook Du merely nodded at the words, a little embarrassed by the praises that felt unearned. He turned back to Kyung Shim, finding her grinning at him. "Our Gook Du always tries his best at whatever he chooses to do. And even then, he still feels like it's not enough." She remarked, fondly shaking her head. "If you could move in here, I bet you would."

"Alright, alright." The young police officer lifted his hands up in surrender. "I'm going. Let me just log off and grab my stuffs, okay?"

"Okay." The female agreed, nodding along the word. She watched him turn off the machine before walking away, taking the opportunity to pull out her own phone and send a quick text to Bong Soon. Hopefully she was doing the right thing for her friend's happiness.

~*~

"Kyung Shim did it. He's getting his stuffs. They're coming." Bong Soon said, upon reading Kyung Shim's text.

"Are you sure?" Her boyfriend asked, eyes a little wide. "Even if she gets him out of the police station there's no guarantee she could—" He's interrupted by lips that firmly press against his own.

"They're coming." Bong Soon repeats, her hands resting on Min Hyuk's chest. "If there's one person Gook Du would never suspect of anything, it's her. She'll get him into the car and the driver will get them here."

"Okay." Ahn Minhyuk said softly. "Okay." He repeated. "But what if he feels trapped? You said it, if he, if he feels like he's forced into something he doesn't want, he'll entirely dismiss us. I don't, I don't," He shook his head. "Being entirely dismissed, it would hurt."

Bong Soon chuckled softly, her gaze genuinely fond. "You like him that much?"

"Don't you?" He asked, worried about entirely something else now.

Bong Soon laughed. "I've always loved him. So it's kind of a familiar and brand new feeling for me too. Now I can consider that there is space for the both of you in there without any guilt or pressure to choose." Her hands slid along his body to wrap around his waist as she maintained eye contact. "It mostly feels good right now. I focus on that."

Min Hyuk smiled, leaning down to press a gentle peck to her lips. "Maybe I need a little help focusing myself..." He said as his hands moved to cradle her face.

Bong Soon laughed. "Is that why you didn't just privatize the whole bar but even got rid of the bartender?" She asked, and got a thorough kiss for sole reply. The bar still had cameras. Minhyuk had paid a hefty deposit. They weren't, entirely uncontrolled. Just in love.

~*~

"You got us a fancy driver?" Gook Du asked, following Kyung Shim towards a rather long, black car. "Do I need to remind you that I'm a perfectly capable driver?"

"Do I need to remind you that you're gonna buy me drinks? I ain't drinking alone tonight pretty boy." The female replied.

Gookdu huffed, hands falling on his hips. "Alright, but why can't I drive us there?"

"First, the city center is a heavily pedestrianized area and you know that. Second, would you rather leave your car on the parking of some random bar, or leave it on the parking of the most protected place in Gangnam?"

Gookdu narrowed his eyes. She did have a point. "Alright..." He said. "But I'm getting a taxi back here afterwards and then a driver to take me home."

"Fine." Kyung Shim said. "Now come on!" She wrapped an arm around his, dragging him forwards and closer to the car. "Let's go."

~*~

"They're in the car." Bong Soon updated.

Min Hyuk poured himself a shot from behind the bar and downed it before gently patting his cheeks. "It's happening."

"It really is." His girlfriend agreed, grinning. "We're doing it." She added, getting closer to the bar and sitting on a stool.

"We are." Minhyuk agreed, smiling at her. She'd changed so much in his life, brought so much light. He couldn't quite believe he'd gotten that lucky. Or was about to possibly get even luckier.

~*~

"I don't get why we have to leave Gangnam." Gook Du said, looking out the window as the scenery passed. "I know plenty of affordable bars with a great setting."

"You do?" Kyung Shim asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked towards him.

The male shifted to look back at her. "Don't be so shocked. I go out with friends!"

"What friends?" She asked, now a little offended because she'd never been invited to those little outings.

"From the police station!" Gook Du replied, met with an unimpressed look. "And others!"

"Others?" The female asked, raising both eyebrows in genuine disbelief now.

"Yes! Others! There was even this guy who made me discover a really cool bar who only has craft beers." Gook Du argued.

"What guy?" Kyung Shim asked, narrowing her eyes. The police officer blushed. She gasped. "You went on a date?" He blushed harder, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "DATESSS?!" Gookdu lowered his head, rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed. "Oh my gosh! In Gook Du-ssi! How dare you keep that to yourself." She smacked his arm. "Bong Ki isn't the only person interested in your life you know? Keep the rest of us updated too."

Gook Du looked up at the words, a little awed and incredibly fond. "Really?" He quietly asked.

"Really." Kyung Shim replies, traits sobering to gain seriousness but gaze remaining incredibly fond. "You're like a brother to me, I want you to be happy. Never forget that. Even if I ever happen to make you mad, it'll be for your own good in the end, okay?"

The male furrowed his brows. "What does that... What does that mean?"

"We're here." The driver said. And the lateral door of the car slid off to reveal a parking that looked somewhat familiar to Gook Du as he got out. He then turned to help Kyung Shim out and the driver simply took off.

"What about his money? He didn't even—" Gook Du blinked.

"I paid ahead." Kyung Shim said, putting a reassuring hand on his back and leading the two of them forwards.

"You sure it's open? The parking is kinda empty and there don't seem to be people in... The sign is even off." The police officer pointed out as they neared the door. "Maybe we should find somewhere else."

"Ani." Kyungshim shook her head. "It's open." With that, she pushed the door.

And Gookdu's gaze was drawn to a woman who sat at the bar. "Ah well, you might be right." He told his friend, stepping in. Then frowned right away. Recognizing that bar. The ceiling lights. The pool table. Those high tables with stools...

"Remember that thing about me doing things for your happiness even if it might make you mad at me?" Kyung Shim questioned, watching his features shift. "Just listen to them, okay?"

" _Them?"_ The officer echoed softly, having a hint at who they might be as his eyes traveled from Kyung Shim to the woman at the bar before eventually focusing on the bartender that was now facing him. "Ah." He let out in a whisper that sounded like a sigh, as the female spun on her stool and stood.

"We won't force you into anything." Were the first words Gook Du heard from the two. Ahn Min Hyuk more particularly. He chuckled at the irony.

"We just wanted to talk to you without you running away." Bong Soon went on.

"So you decided to corner me?" Gook Du asked, brows creasing.

"We didn't—" A sigh. "I guess we did sort of lay a little trap on you. But it's not, it's not mocking or to hurt you."

"Then what is it for? Because it kind of does, hurt, right now." Gook Du admitted, feeling a slight sting in his eyes. "I get it, what you have to say. You're ready for it. The both of you. You're ready to invite me. Great." He chuckled. "But at some point, at some point I—" He blinked, looking away from the two. "At some point I'll become a burdensome presence, never there enough, late, absent yet not quite gone and you'll get tired of that. Everybody does. And then you'll want to return to a time where it was easier. Without me. Eventually, everyone gets bored but nobody dares to just leave, I'm always the one asked to go. Because I'm the one who messes up anyways." He inhaled deeply, eyes falling shut. "So could we all spare each other the struggle and go back to our lives peacefully? Before it has to really hurt anyone?"

It's an oddly intimate moment to witness, Kyung Shim thinks. But it touches upon something she didn't really knew about one of her oldest friend. And she knows she's probably stepping over a moment that isn't really hers, but before anyone can really say or do anything, the silence deafeningly loud, she's wrapping arms around her friend's middle and hugging him from behind. "You have to stop keeping people at distance. You might think that if they don't see you all that much, they can't get bored. But it doesn't work like that. Every bond you hold dear, you should always attempt to strengthen. Nobody is gonna walk away because they see you too much. There's no such thing as too much of yourself, Gook Du-yah. Give all you have to give, and if the person still walks away, then it's not on you. It's on them." She squeezed a little tighter. "Look at us, we've been friends since childhood and I've been getting by with crumbs. But if you offer me more, well I'm not gonna say no to a piece of you, big, dumb, beautiful, man cake." Gook Du snorted. It was aloud and ugly sound. But it turned into laughter. Quiet, delicate laughter. And that was enough, in Kyung Shim's book, to defuse the atmosphere. So she unwrapped her arms from the other, smiling to herself and turned away, ready to take her leave.

"Wait!" Gook Du called, spinning on his feet to face her. The female turned her head towards him, an encouraging smile lingering there. "Thank you." He said quietly, the tips of his ears bright red.

Kyung Shim chuckled softly. "I meant what I said. I'm your friend. Whatever you need, just call me. I'll genuinely be happy to hear about you. Even if it's to listen to you rant about work."

"I can't actually rant about work to civilians." Gook Du replied, grinning a little as she fondly rolled her eyes.

"Idiot." She replied. "Take care." With those words, she winked at her best friend, Bong Soon grinning at that. Then Kyung Shim heaved a soft sigh and took her leave, feeling like she'd done her part. Now, whatever happened, was entirely up to them.

"Man cake." Ahn Min Hyuk echoed softly, as the door was shut. "Shall I be jealous?"

"Do you mean, _shall we_ , be jealous?" Bong Soon corrected, grinning at her boyfriend. She then turned to face back Gookdu. "More seriously," She started, getting a couple steps closer. "we want you be part of this, us. Really."

"Right." The police officer sighed deeply, eyes faintly stinging. "You're inviting me right now." He exhaled through parted lips. "But," Gook Du looked away from the female. "But I'll overextend my stay. I'll be there, but at the same time not enough. I'll be late. I'll be hard to reach. And I'll be unapologetic about it. And you'll grow bored, then tired. And then, then you'll realize that it is who I am. And you'll want things to go back to how they were. Without me. But you won't find the strength to leave. Nobody has the guts to just leave. Instead, I have to walk away after being asked, to leave." He swallows the lump forming in his throat, knowing he needs to get it all out before he can't muster the strength anymore. "And usually, it's fine. It feels like walking a path already started anyway. But, it's getting exhausting. So let's just spare each other all the hurt. I don't really feel like giving someone else the occasion to get bored of me."

Bong Soon sighed deeply. "People don't get bored of you because you are who you are. People don't get bored of you because you barely text back, or miss dates. In fact, people don't get, bored of you. People get tired of being kept at distance." She attempted to explain. "I, got tired of getting nothing but glimpses at a heart I wanted to know fully. I, got tired of you, only ever allowing me to peer in, through the crevices of your walls instead of putting them down for me. I, got tired of waiting for you to notice that I, was laying my heart bare in a hope for reciprocity. And more importantly: I, got tired because you never said anything clearly. You can't expect people to guess what you feel. Or help you break a self-fulfilling pattern they know nothing of."

Minhyuk indulged himself a long inhalation through his nostrils. The male lowered his gaze towards a shot glass, making the liquid in it swirl softly. He knew they had unfinished business. But what he didn't know was how to feel about it. Would any intervention of sorts from his part interrupt whatever they had going on? He didn't know. But he didn't wanna risk it.

Gookdu dared meeting Bong Soon's gaze again, to find a glint mirroring the one in his eyes there. So she felt, as fully as him. "What if, if I, if I had," His brows creased, head tilting to the side just a hint. "if I had told you, how I felt, more clearly? Would it, would we..." He shook his head.

"Who knows?" Bong Soon simply replied, to a question he hadn't dared fully asking.

Gookdu chuckled. "And why would it still matter anyway, right?"

Minhyuk downed the shot. "Does it? Does it still matter to you?" He asked. _'Do you still want to be in my shoes?'_ was the real question, wasn't it?

The police officer's gaze shifted from the female to her significant other, lips curling up just a little. "Not as much as I thought it would." Gookdu genuinely admitted. "I always thought, if I got to the point of asking that question, it would both break my heart and bring me so much relief. Because maybes, they hurt, you know. But," He wet his bottom lip, taking the second to gather his thoughts. "but you, Min Hyuk-ssi," Oh that sounded a little odd without the Ahn in front of it. Not entirely unpleasant though. Just... new. Yes, new. "you gave me answers and opportunities. You gave me closure in a way too. And I think, Bong Soon and I loved each other like we were meant to. I think, that first love, from afar, was,formative for the both of us. I realized I couldn't just attempt to love people like a duty. But instead, should try to listen to and follow my heart more. And she realized the kind of love she deserved." He turned to Bong Soon. "I couldn't give you that. I still doubt I can." He admitted. "So loving the both of you? I don't know if I can. I've never been in love quite the right way. Don't let me ruin something good for the both of you. You're already happy without me."

"We were." Min Hyuk agreed. "We've been happy, just Bong Soon and I. And we'd find a way to keep being happy without you if it truly what you want ultimately." He went on. "But we could be happier, with you. And you could be happier too. So why, why is it so hard to believe that you're worth it? Because you're... You're always too late, incredibly busy with work, absolutely unable to express your feelings, and abrasive, unforgiving, rightful and lonesome? Or it is because you're scared we'll make cracks in your visible, high and build solid walls?" He inquired, re-using Gook Du's very own words.

"Both." The other male admitted quietly. "I'm not half as great as Bong Soon. Or you. My life begins and ends with my job. And whomever I am outside of it, is heavily influenced by it. It gets boring pretty quickly. And I don't want anyone else to grow bored of me."

"Are you bored too?" Minhyuk asked, brows creasing.

"I'm a creature of habits, and I'm not unhappy with who I am." Gook Du carefully replied.

"You didn't answer his question." Bong Soon pointed out. "Are you bored with yourself?"

Gookdu chuckled softly, tongue peering out to wet his lips but he otherwise remained quiet, choosing instead to sink his bottom teeth into his sucked in, upper lip.

"Oh." Bong Soon let out. "That's why you think you're not enough for others."

"I can't even make myself happy, how do you expect me to be in charge of two other people's happiness?" The male asked.

"You absolute idiot." Bong Soon said, rushing towards him and throwing her arms around his neck. "Why couldn't you just listen to your heart? Why can't you see that you're unhappy because you keep yourself isolated? It doesn't protect others. It breaks your own heart." The female said, tears welling in her eyes. "And others..." She added, more quietly.

The police officer was too startled to move, eyes wide and a little crazed, like a deer caught in headlight. He didn't know what to do. Or more so what he could, do. He sought for Minhyuk's gaze and was met with an encouraging nod. So Gookdu closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Bong Soon's middle, holding her tighter than ever before. "I'm sorry." He finally said.

And she pulled away to look at him, her hands now cradling his face. "What for?" She eventually asked. "You are the one who were hurting the most." Gookdu nodded quietly at the words. "Please don't do that to yourself anymore. Use your heart fully. Even if it's not with us. Just—" Lips pressed against Bong Soon's, harsh but more desperate than demanding, so easy to move with, eager to be guided. And Bong Soon led, fingers tangling in the male's hair as she drew him closer, allowing herself to display a little strength she wouldn't with Minhyuk. Simply because it was an occasion to make old fantasies feel just a little more within grasp. She left him panting against her lips, pulling away as Minhyuk whistled.

"Have I just lost my girlfriend or gained a boyfriend?" Min Hyuk bluntly asked.

"Why don't you come closer to find out?" Gook Du boldly asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I..." Minhyuk's eyes widened, a genuine awe in his gaze.

"Do it quickly before he thinks too much about it and scares himself off of a good thing!" Bong Soon declared, holding a hand out for her boyfriend, who gingerly took it, letting her draw him closer. This was it, it was all within grasp now. About to be real, and Ainsoft's you CEO was just starting to get scared.

Gook Du chuckled. "Never would have thought I actually would see Ahn Min Hyuk looking even just a little shy." He spoke, attempting to mask his own worry but finding himself holding his breath.

Unexpectedly tentative, Min Hyuk swallowed and held an arm out, gently letting his hand spread and rest on the police officer's chest, lips faintly curled up when he felt the heart beat under his palm. "So..." He quietly asked, looking into Gookdu's eyes.

"So." The other quietly echoed with equal intensity in his gaze.

"Where is this going?" The game developer inquired.

"I genuinely have no idea." Gookdu replied, putting a hand atop of Min Hyuk's and letting his own fingers curl around it. "But I think I want to find out."

Min Hyuk smiled, lips gradually curling up as fondness replaced apprehension in his eyes. "So this is real now? _Us?_ "

Gookdu chuckled. "I don't know yet." He replied honestly.

The other male sighed softly, lightly tilting his head to the side. "What do you know then?"

"I know..." The police officer's lips curled up. "I know that you can't handle spicy food or alcohol." Gookdu chuckled at Minhyuk's offended expression, slowly lifting the other's hand up to bring it to his lips, kissing the fingertips. "I also know that you prefer the beach to the mountains." Another reverent peck to those fingertips. "That you find sports an absolute bore but can play soccer and probably know self-defense." Another peck. "And I know that you love strawberries and lollipops. But above all else, I know, that you love Bong Soon right. And if, if I ever were to trust you with my heart, you'd try your best to love me right too. And it's absolutely frightening to admit. Because I'm starting to think that I want to entrust you with it, my heart."

"Kiss me right now, or I, will headbutt you." Minhyuk said, making Gookdu laugh at the reference to one of their earlier conversations. Slowly, the police officer leant towards the other, pressing a chaste kiss to the other's nose, chuckling as Minhuyk's brows creased before finally, pressing his lips against the other male's. Unlike the kiss with Bong Soon, this one was easy, peaceful. It felt like pieces finally slotting together and accepting that they belonged right where they were.

_This was it. The three of them were an 'us' now. Or, at the very least, all working towards that goal._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can be considered an ending. But I think, eventually, I'll write a final chapter, just to address Minhyuk's worries too. Because his, unlike theirs, would come after they get together, not before. And I feel like I wrote a lot about Gookdu and Bong Soon's sides but kinda overshadowed his. So I want to rectify that. No idea when/if it'll come out though.


End file.
